10 WAYS TO PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE
Bisi Adewale
“The preparation of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue is from the Lord” Proverbs 16:1
Nothing destroys any venture easily like inadequate preparation. If you fail to prepare, you will have many things to repair in life, marriage and family life.
Most young people spend months or years preparing for their wedding but spend little or no time preparing for marriages. This explains why tears accompany many marriages today.
Before you say I do, preparation for marriage and family life is a must-do. Don’t just prepare for your wedding, prepare for marriage and family life. Wedding is for a day but marriage is for life. A wedding is a ceremony but marriage is a life situation. Here are various areas to prepare:
- SPIRITUAL PREPARATION.
Prepare for your marriage and family life by giving your life to Christ. Without Christ, your marriage is already in crisis. Surrender your totality to God. Get accustomed to the word of God. Dip yourself in the ocean of God’s word. Find out what God says about you, your marriage, etc and stand on it. Indulge in aggressive prayers and fasting with your intended partner. Discuss the church to attend after the wedding and agree on it. Harmonise your Christian beliefs, styles of prayer, dressing, mode of worship, etc. Psalm 28:8-9
- FINANCIAL PREPARATION.
Make sure both of you have a reliable source of income. Learn how to make money and how to communicate about money. Harmonize your beliefs about spending, saving, investment, tithing, budgeting, career, etc. Proverbs 21:20. If this is well managed, you will have a well-balanced marriage and family life
- PHYSICAL PREPARATION.
Get a house, household materials and properties like beddings, settee, cooking utensils, electronics, clothing, etc. Proverbs 24:27
- MENTAL PREPARATION.
Change the way you think. Don’t go into marriage and family life thinking only about yourself. Change your mindset about the opposite sex. Women are not all bad, men are not all devils. Change your mindset about your in-laws. Don’t go into marriage battle-ready for them. Have the right thinking about love, intimacy, submission. Have the right thinking about sex. Sex is bad, ungodly and unrighteousness before the wedding but after the wedding, it is good, holy, biblical and righteous. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
- SOCIAL PREPARATION.
Begin the process of leaving and cleaving now (Genesis 2:24-25). Detach yourself gradually from your family and friends and learn how to bond with your to be spouse.
- ENVIRONMENTAL PREPARATION.
Reorder the people in your life. Your spouse to be should come after your love for God. Release your heart to love your partner enough to serve him or her and tolerate his or her weaknesses.
- INTELLECTUAL PREPARATION
Read good books about marriage and family life, attend marriage schools, attend pre-marital training in your church, have a mentor couple, attend seminars, listen to messages.
- SEXUAL PREPARATION (Proverbs 5:15-19)
You have no business going into marriage and family life if you are not sexually capable. So, don’t go into marriage if you are impotent. Address that issue first. Marriage involves sex, don’t live in deceit. Read good books about sex in marriage the week to your wedding, during your honeymoon and after. Your marital training MUST include sex in marriage days before your wedding. Note that you are not permitted by God to have sex before your wedding. It is a sin. It is unrighteousness and it will affect your life and marriage later. Wait till your wedding night and after.
- MEDICAL PREPARATION
Go for a test, test for HIV, Genotype, pregnancy, etc. It is dangerous for AS blood group to marry AS.
- RELATIONAL PREPARATION.
Talk about anything and everything. Develop friendship and companionship, and learn how to talk with each other, how to fight fair, how to disagree like adults, how to honour each other. Build intimacy, love, togetherness, fondness and oneness, build truth and acceptance. Agree to build a “we” family, not a “me” home.
To prepare well for marriage and family life, all features mentioned above are unnegotiable if truly you desire a blissful marriage and family life.
© Bisi Adewale
