Using the microscope in your marriage
A microscope is a scientific instrument that makes small objects look bigger so that we can examine them more carefully.
You may be wondering what use a microscope is in a marriage.
A microscope is employed in marriage when we focus on things that are irrelevant but fail to give attention to things that are relevant. It is similar to a situation whereby you are conducting research on specimen A but you go ahead and put your microscope on specimen B for your research. I need not to tell you that you will get wrong results.
- Use it on things God has done for you in your marriage: Talk about it, praise and appreciate God about it, count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Most of us forget His benefits, His healings, provisions,
“Bless the Lord, Oh my soul and FORGET not all His benefits who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thine diseases who redeemeth thy life from destruction, who crowneth thee with loving-kindness and tender mercies, who satisfieth thy mouth with good things, so that thy youth is renewed like eagles”. Psalm103:1- 5
- Put it on your spouse’s good deed: Never underrate the good deeds of your spouse, celebrate and appreciate it. Never make the mistake of seeing it as your right, let it look like a privilege before you. Have you not seen men and women that are being denied of their right by their spouses? Appreciate your spouse for doing a nice job, do it now! He pays the house rent and the children’s school fees. Appreciate him generously; she cooks a good meal or allows you to sleep with her, wonderful! Commend her for that; do not see it as one of those things. Appreciate your spouse for every good deed.
- Your weak points: It is very easy to ignore your mistakes and focus on the mistakes of others. Do not make this mistake; rather find your error, fight it, focus on it, finish it and liberate your home from errors.
- Your spouse qualities: She is a good cook; she serves the Lord well. She is a prayer warrior; appreciate her. He is a good leader, a generous man, diligent, and focused; praise him. It is easier for people outside to see these qualities than our spouses, this is wrong. Put the microscope on your spouse’s qualities, get to know and celebrate them, unless you celebrate them, they may depreciate.
- Your duties that you fail to do: Never neglect your duties and never fail to do them. Never ignore the needs of your spouse; provide, protect, defend, support by all means, do your duty.
- Your spouse’s good looks: The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. It is always difficult for many people to see the beauty in their spouses.
A wise man once said, “Marriage can be compared to a case whereby you go to a restaurant with friends, you make your order, and they make theirs, but when the order arrives, it is possible to envy them thinking they ordered better meals than yours if you are a person that lacks the spirit of contentment.
There was something you saw in that fellow or lady before you decided to marry him or her, keep on celebrating those things, put the “microscope” on them.
Celebrate your spouse; believe me, your wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. She is just your size; anybody that is taller than her is too tall, anybody that is shorter than her is too short, not too dark, and not too fat. She is only full (not fat), showing your work on her, demonstrating the glory of God in her body, no complaints. Look at her face, and her body, if she is fat, say “thank God for giving me a full and flourishing wife”. If she is slim, never use the word skinny, rather say, “she has the stature of a model”. Never lust after any other man or woman, be satisfied with what God has given you.
