Marriage

Marriage: Things To Do When You Are Tired Of Your Marriage

July 15, 2011

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Marriage: Things To Do When You Are Tired Of Your Marriage
– Bisi Adewale

Someone said either you succeed or fail in your marriage it is your fault, so the earlier you take up the responsibilities to save your marriage will be better. There are things you must do when you are tired of your marriage.

THINGS TO DO
(1) PRAY: The first thing to do when you are tired of your marriage is to take that marriage to God in prayer. He is the inventor and author of marriage. He knows what went wrong in that union and He alone knows what to do to put it back on track. Instead of reporting your spouse to every Tom, Dick and Harry, talk to God concerning him or her and the Lord will touch his or her heart in your favour.
Please, do not neglect prayer at this hour of need. Pray, pray and pray. Talk to God more than you will talk to men. Talk to God about his/her decisions, actions, emotions, finances, job, character, utterances, sexual life and friends. With God, orderliness will be restored to that home. He will turn your battle around and give your marriage a new lease of life.
(2) CHECK YOURSELF: In a bad marriage, it is easy to blame your spouse, mother-in-law, friends, devil or even God for your plight. The last person you are likely to blame is yourself and this should not be.
It takes two people to make a marriage work and it takes just one person to scuttle it. Examine yourself. Blame yourself too. Your spouse cannot take a hundred percent blame. You have a fair share of the blame too. Therefore, check yourself. There may be some untoward attitudes you need to drop; some negative statements you need to replace. There may even be some bedroom rules you have to imbibe. Make amends where necessary. If you want to know the real enemy of your marriage, look in the mirror.
(3) GO FOR COUNSEL: “For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war; and in multitude of counsellors there is safety” (Proverbs 24:6).
Never wait till when your marriage is in a coma before looking for help. Seek help from experts and be prepared to follow their advice.
Research has shown that most men don’t seek counsel. All men should know that it is not a sign of weakness to seek wise counsel. It is just like consulting a professional for your business plan. Only wise men go for marriage counselling. Those who are too big to seek for advice will only make their marriage vulnerable to divorce.
(4) MAKE A POSITIVE LIST. I understand that you are hurt and truly offended, but if that marriage must come alive again, you need to do something unusual. Get a plain sheet of paper and a pen, then list every good thing your spouse has done for you in the past. List at least twenty (20) of them. This may not be easy, but please do it because it will help you to resolve your marriage crisis with a sound mind. It also makes it easier for you to forgive and speak the truth in love.
Whenever there is crisis in a home, you need to take charge of your heart positively toward your spouse. If not, you may have a trailer load of negative things he or she had done against you in the past. Most times, it will be as if you are hearing a voice reminding you of all the wrong doings of your spouse. If this continues unchecked, you are likely to think negatively and conclude that you can no longer live together happily.
Do not listen to that negative voice. Look inwards and think about positive things he or she had done for you in the past. Look around for physical items your spouse bought for you when the going was good.
This will make you realise that what is happening now is not deliberate but an indication that something is wrong somewhere. Jointly search for what is wrong and fix it by focusing on his or her positive attitudes. It takes maturity to do this and I hope you are mature.