Marriage Success Determinants (MSD) Part 2-Bisi Adewale
4. Who you are. Most people do fail to check who they are before getting married, emphasis has always been getting to marry the best person. To get a good home; you need to change who you are. If who you are not the best you should be. You need to check your character, habit, communication skill, relational, capacity, etc, all these must be re-trained if they are not okay, that is the only way you can make the most of your home because your character is your marriage.
5. Who you marry. Of course, who you marry will also have great effect on your marriage. If you marry an unbeliever, a behavior, a backslider, a drunk, an occultic person, a cultist, etc you are not likely going to find it easy in that marriage. If you get married without any future consideration, building your marital choice on the outlook of the person without considering his/her character and relationship with God; you will definitely regret it.
6. What you and your partner carry. People carry different things on their heart in life which may not be known to them. Some carry good things like blessing, anointing, divine blessing, godly seed of covenant peace and joy while some people carry ancestral curses, evil covenants, evil patterns, parental curses, spirit of failure, etc. you need to look at your marriage and prayerful deal with any negative thing you and your partner carries in the place of prayer and deliverance. You will find it difficult to prosper in life and marriage if any of you is a carrier of evil.
7. What you do. Your job, the job of your spouse and how you are able to balance them with your family life will also determine the success and otherwise of your marriage. If you make your job your number one priority; abandoning God and your spouse in the process, it will have a negative bounce back on your family life. Your priority number one should be your God, your spouse, your children, then your job. Please; set your priority right.
8. How you think. The state of your mind, will end up been the state of your marriage. Your mental attitude will determine your marriage altitude. A whole lot of people have wrong conception about marriage, opposite sex, love, parenting, in-laws, sex, etc. Many people believe marriage is not to be enjoyed. Some men says “Women are necessary evil”, “The place of a woman is at the foot of her husband”, “Women are good for nothing but for food, sex and baby making”. Some women also believe “Mothers-in-law are bad, “All men are liars and not to be trusted”, “Men are terrible people”, etc. All these kind of thoughts are bad and they will determine your altitude towards your spouse which in turn will destroy your marriage if you don’t deal with them now.
9. The company you keep. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed”. (Proverbs 13:20). If you keep company with people with good values for marriage and family life, it will show in your marriage. If you do anything otherwise, it will also show in your family lives. Who are your friends? What are their values? What is their relationship with God and other family? You are not likely going to rise above the company you keep and people you hang out with.
10. Your readiness to serve. Most people do go into marriage looking for somebody that will serve them. One of the most difficult marriages is the marriage of two care-hunters. They do end up hurting each other. For your marriage to be the best, you and your spouse must grow up to be care-givers not care-hunters, rise up to serve each other and don’t see marriage as 50/50 serve-me-I-serve-you, no. Give your service hundred percent as unto the Lord and see God turning your marriage around for good.
Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success; He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 52 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. For more info join our fan page https://www.facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale and visit www.familybooster.com, www.bisiadewale.com, or call 08068312004, or send mail to familybooster@gmail.com
