Managing In-Laws in Marriage


Managing In-Laws in Marriage

Bisi Adewale

The extended families of every couple are in-laws, who be a blessing or a curse to the wife or husband if they are not wisely handled. In-laws are responsible for the death of many marriages.
1. Soul-ties with in-laws. One of the most difficult in-law’s problems is soul-tie. When a man or woman is “married” to his or her parent is not ready to “divorce” them there is no way his or her marriage will work.
Solution: Cut the apron strings and every form of attachment to your roof family. Let them go. Cleave to your spouse in total love, commitment and trust. That is when you can be said to be totally married.

2. In-laws Dependency. He that pays the piper dictates the tune. There is no way in-laws will not meddle in with your family affairs if they feed and clothe you. This will definitely lead to difficult marriage.
Solution: Be free from your families. You must leave them financially, because you are not yet a family until you can stand on your own. Resist the temptation of borrowing from your in-laws or allowing them to give you unsolicited gift. Be financially independent. The word, it is more honourable to give than to receive works wonder here.


3. Over bearing in-laws. Some in-laws (mothers-in-law most especially) are fond of becoming overbearing, meddlesome and difficult. They want to be able to make statements and also be heard in the young couple’s family discussion. If possible, they would rather run their son’s homes than allow the young wife the freedom to do as she wills. They are enemies of good, peaceful and romantic marriage.
Solution: Stand together as couple. No in-law can destabilize your family without your permission. Don’t permit them to come between you. Defend your marriage together. If you discover your mother-in-law is overbearing and meddlesome, don’t fight her because you cannot win. Rather, handle it with wisdom and pray aggressively for the Lord to step in.

4. Contentious Wife. Any woman who views her husband’s family as her rivals or opponents and is ready to fight them will make marriage difficult for herself. There is absolutely no need to fight your in-laws. If you are married to an African, you can’t shut the doors to pour home and say “it is me and my husband”. Your in-laws will fight you and make life terrible for you. They may even succeed in turning the heart of your husband against you.
Solution: Be wise. Love your in-laws, since you can’t win a war against them over. Love your mother-in-law the way you love your own mother. That is the only way you can win them over.


14. Foolish Husband. Some unwise husbands do not handle the relationship between their wives and their families very well. Atimes, they report their wives to their families and tell their wives bad things about their parents and siblings. This will only lead to in-laws problem as your family and wife rise up against each other.
Solution: Teach your wife to love and respect your family and ask the same of your family. Protect your wife before your family, stand up for her and with her. Make your mother to treat your wife as a queen and your wife to treat your mother as a king’s mother. Stand between them as an agent of peace, repair their relationship and make sure your wife is never molested. It is your God-given assignment to protect her.


Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success, He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 52 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster Moments.


Get daily lesson and teaching and articles from his blog: and You can also get his resources and also send an mail to for any counselling issue. Visit for daily updating! and click “LIKE” to be my fan on Face book from this link below


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