Hidden Secrets of Sex in Marriage
Bisi Adewale
Sex is one of the three crisis areas of marriage. It is supposed to bring couples closer but more often it is the issue destroying homes. Marriage counsellors agree that 80% of crisis at home comes directly or indirectly from the bedroom. A loving, gentle and caring husband can suddenly become irritated, unloving, difficult and wicked if he is denied sex.
Sex is the tonic of any marriage. As a booster, it keeps marital love aglow.
The truth is, men love sex just like they love food, while women are not really interested in it. An average man wants sex between two to three times a week. Women, on their own, want it for just three or four times a month, mostly during their ovulation period, known as amorous period in marriage counselling and heat period in Biology.
Males have higher libido than females. Men may be aroused just by the sight of a pretty lady whereas a woman requires some touching, caressing, fondling and kissing before she is ready for love making.
Men should realize that their wives need love and affection to be responsive on bed. She needs support during the day so as not to be too tired at night. A helping hand in the kitchen and support in taking care of the baby is not too bad during the day. If you want to go to HEAVEN BY ELEVEN, prepare for it by SEVEN. A kind word, a surprise gift and caring attitude are what you need to give your wife to set her up for the mood. Shouting and barking at her will only destroy her passion. Men should realize that while they are like helicopters, which don’t need to warm up and run on the tarmac before taking off, women are like aeroplanes that need to warm up and run for a long time on the tarmac before being air bound. Men should therefore stop behaving like carpenters who will just pick up hammers and start hitting without any consideration for the nail. The next thing you hear is gboin! gboinn!! gboin!!!, no caring. no promises, no touching, no fondling, no kissing, no sweet words, no massaging, haba! Don’t kill that woman. No wonder she is running away from you. Don’t be Mr “kill and go” driver that drops its load and takes off. They sleep immediately after the act without appreciation. No after glow. Just now he was acting like a great lover, the next minute he is behaving like a tired machine and sleeping like a bull. What a shame!
Wives too should learn to satisfy their husbands. If you fail to satisfy him at home, he may get it in full outside. Sex is one of your major duties at home, not just cooking. Your body belongs to your husband. It is not scriptural by depriving him of your body (I Cor. 7:3-5).
If you only want sex when you feel like, you will destroy your marriage. If you fail to warm his bed, he will not warm your heart. If you fail to please him in the bedroom, he will displease you outside. That is why you need to train your heart to give your best to him. To a woman, sex is from the heart. Therefore, open your heart to sleep with him. When a man is satisfied with ‘jollof rice’ at home, he will not go to steal popcorn outside. If anybody snatches your husband, it is your fault. If you fail to win your man, don’t blame the devil. Develop your bedroom skill. Be better in bed; lying down there like a log of wood is not good for your matrimonial peace. Be involved. Don’t just keep quiet like a deaf and dumb. Your man will appreciate your response. Statistics shows that 92% of men want their wives to talk to them, make noise, roll their bodies, thank them, gibber or “speak in tongue” during love-making. According to them, it makes them feel like a man and satisfied. Couples should not shy away from discussing their sex life. Please talk about it. Husbands and wives should share their minds on sex. Tell your man what you expect; let your wife know what you want- what will make you feel like a man. Both should agree to make foreplay last longer for the benefit of all.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, Whatsaap 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter @bisiadewale
