GRAVE MISTAKES OF PASTORS/ LEADERS ABOUT MARRIAGE – Part 2
- Failure to train up your Children: Your children will also be indicators of the success of your counselling ministry, If they are not well brought up, lack parental care and training, they will be a minus on your ministry. People expect your children to be of godly characters and to serve the Lord. Impactful counseling ministry involves the whole family. (Prov.13:24)
- Becoming a terror at home. Some counselors are gentle and meek in the counseling room and on the pulpit, but they are terrors at home. They are familiar with the principles of a successful marriage, they preach it, write about it and counsel people about it but find it difficult to practice it at home, thereby living a double life. The first thing that happens in this kind of a situation is that the family of the counsellor will not believe in his ministry. Such a family will only make things difficult at home, reject the God of the counselor, constitute a stumbling block and stand as nuisance of sort to the ministry of the counsellor.(Prov.16:32,Prov.20:3)
- Wife Battering and Sexual Unfaithfulness: These are two most destructive things a marriage counsellor can do. They destroy spiritual life, marriage, family stability and ministry. (Prov.5:15-21)
- Allowing Wrong Conception About Marriage: As a counselor, you must not allow customs, traditions and mentality to affect your home and family life. You must liberate your mind from all prejudices and wrong conceptions. Some wrong beliefs are “woman should be beaten”, “men should not be trusted”. “Women are necessary evil”, “sex should not take place in the afternoon or on Sunday”. “Never stay in the same room with your wife lest she hinder your prayer”, etc.
- Failure To Learn And Improve in Spiritual And Family Life: This is dangerous about counseling ministry. Counsellors attend to the high and mighty, which predisposes them to believing they know everything and should not improve or learn more. This is why most counselors don’t read books, attend seminars, listen to messages or go for counsel. This is a grave mistake. If some of them read books at all, they read just to preach or teach; but not to put into use. Proverbs 9:9
- Failure to pray for and with their families: Some counselors can pray for counselee, and church members but do not spend time praying for and with their family members. This gives the devil the opportunity to control their families.
Marriage ministry is a corrective ministry. It is a ministry of restoration, revival and rejuvenation. The enemy come to destroy (John 10:10), God called you to restore and the devil can never be happy with you. If he does not get you, your family becomes his target, he will not get his target your family in Jesus name.
- Divorcing your wife/husband: How can you divorce your spouse and be in the right position to advise other couples to stay together. Once this happens, everyone who comes in contact with you begins to doubt your marriage ministry. (Malachi 2:14-16)