By Bisi Adewale
One of the major problems of marriage is that people normally get married to someone they’ve not known in different seasons of their lives.
You need to see whosoever you want to marry in their different seasons before you decide wether to go ahead to marry the person or not. Not knowing someone in his or her different seasons and quickly going ahead to tie the knot May end you in a knotty marriage, which you will regret forever.
I have counselled so many people that said, oh, “I did not know this is how he is” “she has changed I never believe she can behave like this” the truth is she had not changed, she simply behave the way she is in that particular season.
For example, a lady you flaunted wealth to and married in time of your riches suddenly started behaving awkwardly when you don’t have money, lost your job or business or when you are broke is only showing her true color in your season of lack or want, she had not change, she is just coming out of her shell.
That is why those that are flaunting wealth to entice Women for marriage do end up marrying people that love wealth, people who do not love them and will only be loyal, faithful and supportive as long as they keep making money and bringing it home for them to spend and waste.
Likewise Women that made Men marry them because of their artificial beauty, fake wigs, fake boobs, artificial nails, heavy makeup, padded bum, borrowed cloths, stolen shoes and bags, must do everything to keep their beauty, sexy and delicate look to keep their Men. you can’t marry a guy with the look of Iphone and think you can keep him at home with the look of Nokia 3310 phone. You can’t know how the guy you won With artificial look will behave when he has to see you by 6am everyday without make up and in the season of pregnancy, delivery with baby fat.
That is why I always counsel young Men to make sure they see the ladies they want to marry in their natural forms before taking a decision. Visit her by 6am, call it a surprise visit to give her a gift. Whosoever you see in that state is the real woman you will be living with or the days of your life, not the one you see in the office with her stiletto, heavy perfume and angelic look. That is the lady Mary Kay borrowed you to date, not the one that will be in your home.
Let me show you some of the seasons you must wait for and check before you marry anyone:
— Season of riches: How will he or she behave if he sees real money. You can know this the way he or she talks about Money. Will that girl be a waster? Ask her how will she handle a 10 million Naira gift, let her list what she will buy, listen and see how see will handle your money when you get marry to her.
— Season of lack: You can know this the way they behaves when they are broke and by asking them what can they do for money when they are broke and there is nothing to eat.
— Season of conflict: what do they do when you have conflict in your relationship? They Become abusive? Withdrawn? Keep malice, shout on you, report you to others, walk out on you, becomes moody, goes violent etc. that is what they will do in marriage, they won’t change, they will only improve on what they are now. you need to check this out or listen to what they say when you talk about couples that are fighting.
A wise Girl broke her relationship because the guy she was dating supported the husband Osinashi, (that lady that was beaten and killed by her husband in Abuja) This young girl simply knows what the guy will do in the season of conflict, he will resort to violence since he justified it, she broke the relationship, that is wisdom.
— Season of celebration: how do they handle celebration, parties etc do they go drunk or spend money stupidly? That is the real person they are.
— Season of sickness: How do they handle sickness? Do they seek help in the right place or go diabolical? Do they become irritable and blame everyone for their state of health? That is what you will battle in marriage.
— Season of loss: how do they handle loss, do they go moody, depressed, threatens suicide etc, you need to know and ask yourself if you can cope with these.
— Season of weakness: How do they handle their weaknesses, do they justify it? Do they admit it? Are they ready to grow, check these out
— Season of challenges: How do they handle challenges and similitudes of life. Does he cry because of this, does he always run away, does he always run to his mothers room for help? You need to check this and know if you can cope.
— Season of promotion: how do they handle promotion? Do they become pompous, cocky and proud? Or give glory to God nd are still ready to lern nd grow? This is very important. Promotion is coming in future, more Money will come, however they handle it now is the way they will handle it forever.
— Season of temptation: how will that person handle temptation in the future if you marry him or her. Check how the person is handling the opposite sex now and his or her excuses for that kind of behavior. If he or she is never faithful when courting you, he she my not grow up to become a faithful person in marriage.
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