Marriage

Crazy Things Men Do In Marriage Pt 1

November 23, 2012

1455

Bisi Adewale

Most men do crazy things in marriage that need to be examined carefully. Am not writing this piece for women to “judge” their husbands or for them to use it as “prosecuting witness” against their men. Presenting this piece in an “I told you”, “you see” form will not improve your husband. Rather, I wrote it for men who will like to improve and be a better husband. Let’s go and check those crazy things and deal with them together. I will address those crazy things wives do in marriage later.

1. Calling their wives bad names. A whole lot of men call their wives different names when they are angry. Some call their wives goat, fool, animal, idiot, etc. This is very wrong; always remember that whatever you call your wife is what you are. If you call her goat then you are “Mr. Goat’, because she is your Mrs. She is you in woman clothing, so be careful what you call her; no matter how angry you are.

2. Watching wives labouring themselves to death. An average Nigerian husband will watch his wife labouring herself to death at home, washing, cooking, boiling, frying, roasting, carrying the baby, clearing the house, etc. An average man will just cross his legs on the stool watching the television shouting, “Bring my food”, “I am hungry”, “Hunger will give us in this house”. It is totally wrong, wives are not slaves, giving an helping hand at home does not remove Mr. From your name. In fact, a real man is not a eater at home, he is a doer.

3. Loving work more than family. An average Nigerian man loves his work more than his family. They feel at home at work and feel at work at home. They do everything to avoid home. While work is good and compulsory, your family must come first while other things follow. Family gave birth to you. Family will bury you, you won’t stay forever in that office no matter how good you are on your job. You will retire, resign or be retrenched but your family is always there for you, don’t lose your family before you need them. Set your priority right, create time for your home.

4. Sleeping with house maid. The house maid may be dirty, she may be stinking, she might not have washed her undies in weeks, it doesn’t matter to some men. In fact, it was reported recently that 65% of house maid do end up sexually molested by the husband or sons of their madam. We even see cases where both father and son are going to the same “market” of the maid under the nose of the madam. This is totally wrong, no responsible man will go so low to the extent of sleeping with the house maid, content with your wife, get every sex you want from her. It is crazy to sleep with maids.

5. Rejecting food in anger. Is it not funny, almost all women told me their husband do these regularly. Rejecting food with your money is a crazy thing to do, I trust myself, I will first eat before getting angry, you blame me? It is childish to do this, I believe all our husbands will change

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. 6. Sleeping with their daughters. A woman said, she can travel or go to vigil without her daughters, after their father slept with two of the three girls within a week when she travelled. In a recent youth program, ladies were told to raise their hands if their father had ever slept with them. Surprisingly, more than 300 of over 4000 students raised their hands. It is terrible, it is crazy, but it is happening everyday.

7. Beating the baby in anger. A wife said, her husband do beat their baby anytime she denied him sex. He knows that it will be painful to her in fact anytime she denied him sex, he will say “you better allow me or I will beat your baby” despite the fact that the baby is his own.

8. Issuing divorce threat. I will send you packing, I will divorce you, you will leave this house, these are words from the mouth of a whole lots of Nigerian husbands, it is totally wrong.

9. Turning from toaster to ringer. There are three kinds of men: The toaster, courter and ringer. Toasters are the best men, they are not married, they are doing everything to win their ladies, they are always at their best, coming with flowers, composing love songs, romantic text messages, date night, etc. When the lady agree they begin to court her, they are still good and romantic but when they take the woman to the altar, put their rings into the woman’s hands and the woman say “I do”, they do turn 360, making life difficult for the woman, no more flowers, no more dating, Mr toaster has turned to Mr. Ringer, what a crazy life. That is an African husband for you.