happy young romantic couple in love have fun on beautiful beach at beautiful summer day



Bisi Adewale


Developing a positive  mindset, thinking positively about our spouses, thinking of positive things to do to your mate and in your marriage, dealing with wrong perceptions and mentality will go a long way to develop your marriage as it affect your trust, adjustment, character, communication, love, intimacy, forgiveness and respect for your mate.(Proverb 4:23)

  1. Adequate knowledge and constant improvement. Getting adequate knowledge of marriage and family life is the foundation of strong and fulfilling marriage. The knowledge we are talking about do not end at pre-marital training programme, it should continue throughout your life- time. Reading books, attending seminars, listening to tapes, seeking counsel from a qualified marriage counselor and attending marriage school will be beneficial to your family well- being. Proverb 24:3-7.
  2. Togetherness– Couples that desire good marriage must learnt to walk together, talk, plan, pray, travel, dress, sleep, rejoice and bath together. Togetherness, fondness, playfulness, openness cheerfulness and oneness are the mother of hot and sizzling marriage.
  3. Total Commitment- Commitment to God, to your marriage, to your spouse, to your marriage vow and to your immediate family as a whole will go a long way to determine the state of your home. John Maxwell said “No marriage can survive forever on leftover”!. Be committed to God, his work, his love and his fear, be committed to holiness and righteousness, be committed to your mate give him/her your attention, your ears, your time, affection, your kindness, not just in the house but in your heart.
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Be committed to your marriage. Do everything to make it work, don’t be too proud to look for help, go for counsel, go for training and become better.

Be committed to your marriage vow, be satisfy with your spouse, never look for sex elsewhere, it is dangerous, get all the sex you need from your spouse, and be committed to your marriage vow.

  1. High Intimacy– This is how to build highly intimate marriage. Love + trust+ honour+ communication+ togetherness+ romance is equal to High intimacy. Or High intimacy = marriage – unforgiveness – wrong conception –hatred + adjustment + acceptance + attention + affection.
  2. Romance must be hot– Constant hugging, hot kisses, touching, petting, humour, playfulness, “pillow fight”, “love fight”, tug- of- love, relaxing together, closeness increasing the P. D. A (Public Display Of Affection), SDA ( Secret Display of Affection), strolling together etc. will help to develop and maintain romance, while romance will help to preserve your marriage, because for  marriage not to be traumatic and problematic it must be romantic. (SOS. 2:4-6)
  3. Sex at the highest level– Sex must be at fulfillment level. Bearing in mind that sex in marriage is holy, acceptable, Godly and a must. When bedroom collapses marriage will not be able to stand, because bedroom is the headquarter of the family.
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1 Cor. 7:1-5, Pro. 5:15-21.

Position of these fifteen “determinants” will determines the state of your marriage that is why you need to do everything to put these things in place.


Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on, 08068312004, Whatsaap 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog:, @bisiadewale