BETTER MARRIAGE: 10 PHRASES TO DROP FROM YOUR VOCABULARY
BETTER MARRIAGE: 10 PHRASES TO DROP FROM YOUR VOCABULARY
Do you want a better marriage? Do you want to have integrity and influence in your home? Do you want to communicate better and be a better spouse? Consider dropping these phrases from your vocabulary, it will make tremendous impact in your family life;
1. “I’m confused,” or “I don’t get it.” Or “you confuse me”
Don’t put the responsibility on your spouse. Instead of putting all the responsibilities on the other person, take co-ownership. Say, “Help me understand your position,” and remain open to learn.
2. “You know what I mean?” and “Does that make sense?”
Present your case clearly without ambiguity. Make it in such a way that your spouse will understand what you are saying without asking him or her whether he knows what you mean. Asking for constant validation is not the best way to communicate in a relationship
3. “So and so is better than you”: Never compare your spouse with anybody, there will always be somebody better than him or her just as there are millions that are better than you too. So why the announcement!
4. “You know”: Sorry he or she doesn’t know, you need to explain yourself and make yourself clearer
5. “I’ve been too busy” or “I started writing an email and forgot to send it.”
Excuse your excuse, stop the excuse, and destroy the alibi. Excuses are unattractive. Say, “I apologize for the inconvenience. I forgot to do, it I am sorry.
6. “Go straight to the point”: Telling your spouse to go straight to the point when trying to explain something to you is rude and unacceptable. It is a sign of impatience.
7. “You always…”
Avoid saying this, it is not okay for effective communication. Sweeping generalizations lack insight and get in the way of healthy dialogue. Never go back to the past or resurrect the stinking corpse, be specific and avoid using vague blame tactics.
8. “Are you serious?” It looks so simple and harmless but it is not a good way to respond to your spouse. If he or she is not serious he will not waste his time talking to you. It is not comedy, it is serious.
9. “I hate to say this, but…” and “John is a good person, but…” You sound contradictory avoid the word “BUT” it is not the best way to present yourself.
10. “It is a lie”: you mean to say unbelievable, but you said your spouse is a liar. Looks simple and harmless, but it is not okay. Always say, “Unbelievable” not it is a lie. Who is lying?
11. “I love so and so” looks pretty okay? But saying I love my secretary, may sound deeper than what you said and may ring an alarm in the heart of your spouse. Use the word “like” more except you are referring to your spouse or your Children. Say “I like yogurt” not “I love yogurt” so that you will not water down the word love in the ears of your spouse.
12. “You made me do it”. No! Take responsibility, nobody made you to do it, you did it. Be matured enough to take responsibility for your action. Stop shifting blames!
13. “You anger me”: No, anger is a choice; you decide what to do, stop placing the blame of your emotional outburst and lack of self control on others. What got you angry is what others who are more mature than you would have laughed about and move on. It is your responsibility.
14. “I will divorce you”: stop using the “D” word It is totally wrong to be threatening your spouse with divorce. Threat has a way of fulfilling itself. If you love your future, stop issuing threat of divorce, you may live to regret it.
15. “Is sex food?” Sex is not food; in marriage it is more important than that. In fact, the Bible says it is water (Proverbs 5:15-19). So stop intimidating your spouse with your ‘is it food’ questions. Give quality sex to your spouse, it is your responsibility to satisfy your spouse absolutely since it is more than food.
BETTER MARRIAGE: 10 PHRASES TO DROP FROM YOUR VOCABULARY
