In this part of the world; travelling abroad to countries like United States, Italy, Canada, Britain, France, Germany, etc is seen as a huge breakthrough.AMERICAN VISA LOTTERY, DOLLARS AND FAMILY LIFE 2

In fact, many pastors are taking advantage of this, many of them are now holding what they call “Visa Service” for those that want visa to travel abroad, what a shame!AMERICAN VISA LOTTERY, DOLLARS AND FAMILY LIFE 2

I need to shout it on the roof top here, travelling abroad is not a breakthrough, it had left many of our people with shattered life, scattered dreams and disfigured family life.

As a family expert, my main concern is the effect this is having on family life and I need to warn my fellow countrymen and women against it.AMERICAN VISA LOTTERY, DOLLARS AND FAMILY LIFE 2

I have counseled countless number of women whose husbands are said to be based abroad who are really hurting, lonely, depressed and feeling cheated, so I need to tell our men that they can actually make it in Nigeria and become great in their careers, living a life that is worthy of emulation. Despite the state of our economy; you can still make it, if you are focused, diligent and patience. Many people who rushed abroad are now regretting it, you cannot be a lizard in Nigeria and become a crocodile in the united states.AMERICAN VISA LOTTERY, DOLLARS AND FAMILY LIFE 2

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A senior of mine in the secondary school was working in one of Nigeria First Generation Banks. He had gotten to the managerial position before I lost contact with him, he started working in 1996.

Few weeks ago he walked into my office with a tattered cloth, I could hardly recognize him, he was so down that I needed to give him his transport fare before he could leave my office. His problem, he resigned his appointment years ago and travel abroad despite the fact that he had built a house since 1999, was using three cars and had a well paid jobs. He abandoned his family and travelled to the United Kingdom.

He said he worked in U.K as a mortuary keeper, taxi driver, cleaner, sick people care giver, security man, etc can you imagine, a former bank manager? His wife later abandoned him, his children became wayward, he said he decided to return to Nigerian despite the “shame” (with nothing) when he became tired of running around because of police because his papers were not renewed.

Don’t allow our people over there deceive you with the pictures of big houses and cars they are sending to you, they don’t belong to them, many of them are liars.

Can you imagine a man that resigned from his oil company job recently to go and meet his brother who is based abroad, having seen pictures of big houses and cars he was sending to him, he thought the place must be better, he resigned and went abroad after selling his duplex at Lekki only to get there to discover that his brother stays in a council flat. His sitting room is his bedroom, the chair they sat upon in the afternoon turned out to become their beds in the night, he wept for days because he remembered that his wife warned him, if not for her insistence, she would have resign her appointment with the federal government too and travel abroad with him, it would have been a double tragedy. Now, he can’t come back home, to his family and he is not enjoying abroad.AMERICAN VISA LOTTERY, DOLLARS AND FAMILY LIFE 2

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I was in U.K recently for a seminar, the driver attached to me to take me around for shopping happen to be a first class graduate and a master degree holder from University of Lagos; he too travel abroad with great hope only to end up a cab driver in the day and security guard in the night in a strange land.

Friends staying abroad are always surprise when they follow us for shopping wherever we visit them and we buy things in excess of 2,000 pounds or 3,000 dollars; they are always green with envy, where can we find that kind of money”. They would say, despite the fact that most of them work in two  or more places daily. They all thought that dollars flow like water on the street of New York or pounds on the street of London before they travel, how shock are they when they discover that they are third class citizen in a land of no return, most have been there for years without hope of returning home, many ended up in “arrangee marriage” with citizen of the country just to get themselves settled thereby destroying the marriage they had at home before travelling.

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Nigerians, wake up, the future of your family is important, don’t destroy it, U.K, U.S are not greener pasture afterward, don’t be deceived, you can make it in Nigeria, our flag is green, our life is fertilize, this is a land of opportunity, if I can rise from nowhere to where I am today, then you can make it too. You can be the best; stay with your family, cooperate with your spouse, be content with what you have, aim high, work hard; you will make it, it is possible. Don’t abandon your family in pursuit of error; no pasture is green when your family is not there, wake up Nigeria.