Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2
Bisi Adewale
Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2
PRE-ANGER THERAPY
Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2-There are some things you need to do before anybody annoys you. You should deal with yourself and make them your way of life. If you wait till you get angry before learning how to handle anger, you will disappoint yourself and destroy your home. One of the biggest mistakes people make about anger is that everybody has mastered how to get angry but only few people know how to deal with it. As a result, they allow anger to deal with them and their homes.Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2
You need to know the best way to handle anger if you want to master life:
- Consider anger as a sin and stop bragging about it.
- Always remember that anger rests in the bossom of a fool. (Eccl 7:9)
- Say it to yourself, “I will never raise my voice in anger; I am in charge of my emotion” (50 times) in seven days.
- I will rather keep quiet (wisely) rather than speak in anger and look foolish (say it 40 times)
- During emergencies, I will swallow my saliva ten times when I am really angry before I speak so that I may apply common sense.
- No matter what happens, I will never speak to hurt my partner; my speech will be full of grace and seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6).
- I will allow the Holy Spirit to be in charge of my emotion (Repeat 30 times)
(Gal 5:22-26)
- Spirit of meekness, envelope my spirit. Spirit of quietness take over my emotion. Spirit of self- control, take over my mouth, hands and legs (Repeat 50 times).
- Use mind builder techniques. Memorise and quote the following scriptures many times until they become part of you.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 (20 times)
Proverbs 16:32 (40 times)
Proverbs 19:11 (20 times)
- Say these loudly:
“I am free from anger; anger is dangerous.”
“I am totally free from anger in Jesus name. I wash my mind, heart and soul with the blood of Jesus” (40 times)
Remember, this is a therapy. Do it constantly until it becomes part of you and you will start to feel the work of the Holy Spirit on your emotion.Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2
CAUSES OF ANGER
The following are the common causes of anger in marriage:
(1) Unmet expectation. To be frank with you, nobody born of a woman can really meet your expectation. If you are looking for fulfilment in human beings you will be utterly disappointed. Therefore re-evaluate your expectations. Are they reasonable? Are they attainable? Do not destroy your marriage because of unreasonable expectations.
(2) Negative thinking. Learn to think positively about your spouse. ‘’Keep your heart with all dilligence for out of it are the issues of life’’ (Prov. 4:23).
(3) Wrong Information. Treat all issues in the spirit of love; never base your judgment on hear-says or suspicion but on the word of God and clarifications with your partner
(4) Third party. Never allow any third party in your marriage. They have nothing good to offer.
(5) Pride/Ego. Deal with pride and ego because it engenders anger. Men should please be careful about their ego. It makes many of them to be the real “angry animal at home.
(6) Sexual denial. Wives should be wise to satisfy their husbands in bed. When you deny him sex, he may destroy your peace. Be wise.(1 Corinthians 7:5)
(7) Satanic Influence. When you discover you always get angry without provocations then be sure a strange spirit is working in you. I recommend you seek help and go for deliverance.
IMPLICATIONS OF ANGER ON MARRIAGE.Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2
The following are the effects of anger on families
- It leads to disruption of companionship, comradeship, friendship and intimacy
- It breeds bitterness, resentment, malice and strife.
- It hinders prayer and destroys prayer life
- It disrupts communication and destroys togetherness and oneness
- It leads to hatred
- It exposes the home to satanic attack
- It is the first mile stone to the journey of divorce in marriage
How to overcome anger
– Consider it as sinful and refrain from it.
– Depend on God’s grace.
– Whenever you are angry, say Jesus is Lord (20 times.)
– Use AFS (Advance forgiveness system). Forgive
your spouse even before you are offended.
– Never pre-empt errors from your spouse; believe
in him or her
– Share with somebody who can pray along with you
-Always meditate on the word of God
– Rebuke any negative thought
– Forgive as soon as you are offended. Destroy
anything that will remind you of the offence.
– Never keep record of offence
– Turn issues that would have annoyed you to
humour.
– Abstain from an angry man so that you don’t learn his ways.
If you are married to an angry person, do the following:
– Pray seriously for him/her
– Please bear with him/her while the Lord is working on him/her. Be patient.
– Pray together about it
– Study the Bible together
– Do not be too big to say “I am sorry” to pacify him /her.
– Utter soft words to him/her (Proverbs. 15:1)-Handling Anger in Marriage.Part 2
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, Website:www.familybooster.comfacebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter@bisiadewale
