If you sell your family cheaply, people will buy you without payment – African Proverb.
“There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: Yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, for whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also varnity, yea, it is a sore travail. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour” Eccl. 4:8-9.
The impact of a good marriage on ministarial success can not be overemphasized. When a minister’s marriage is bad, it limits his effectiveness, efficiency, stops his upward movement, destroys his inner strength and creates room for the enemies to attack his anointing. If a wall is not cracked, penetration will be impossible for reptiles. A cracked wall is a room and parlour for all manners of animals.
Let us examine what good marriage will do to your ministry:
1.Answer to Prayer: Good marriage is a key to answer prayer. If you desire quick
(Eccl. 4:9, 1 Pet. 3:7) answer to your prayer (which is a key to your ministry), then you must work on your marriage.
2.Presence of God. “A three fold cord is not easily broken”. (Eccl. 4:12): The greatest need of every minister is the presence of God. Bad marriage repels God’s presence while good marriage encourages it. God will never dwell in confusion. You will always find Him in a place of order. Orderliness is the order of the day in His kingdom. Any minister that desires His presence should work on his/her marriage.
3.Removes Loneliness: Pastoral work can be lonely a times. Church members may not understand how you feel and may not be there for you. In fact, they may be all out to mock you. Only your family will be there for you. If you do not have good home, it means you are on your own.
4.Progress. “Two are better than one, because they have a GOOD REWARD for their labour” (Eccl. 4:9, Emphasis mine). Good marriage leads to good ministries. Check all top pastors in Nigeria and you will discover they are all successful family men. There is a limit you can go without good marriage. If you want to go far, you must work on your marriage.
5.Strength. “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him…” (Eccl. 4:12). Spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially, good marriage leads to strength and formidability. It helps during spiritual warfare, financial needs, sickness, challenges, church crisis etc.
6.Support. “Again if two lie down together they will keep warm but how can one be warm alone?” (Eccl. 4:11). Good marriage is a source of support for ministers. It makes you warm in time of ministers. It makes you warm in time of coldness. There is no war greater than “inner war”. No support is better than the one from your spouse.
7.Focus: good marriage allows you to focus on ministry without distractions. It allows you to focus on the battles of life and ensures singleness of mind for greater glory. Bad marriage is the greatest source of distraction for any minister.
8.Credibility (1Timothy 3:1-7): Good marriage is the first qualification for pastoral office. No marriage, no ministry. Bad marriage, bad ministry. Good marriage, good ministry. If you want to be a credible minister, it starts from your marriage. The home front is the real front of your ministry. It is not collar that brings credibility but good companion. You can NEVER rise beyond the level of your marriage.
9.Good Children: If you want good children, build good marriage. Good marriage helps in raising of children. Statistics shows that most prostitutes, area boys, cultists, armed robbers, drug addicts and other nonentities are from very bad homes. Victor Hugo says, “he who opens a school closes a prison”. If you want godly children, let them learn godly things from your Repair your marriage.
10.Church Growth: Many people will not come to your church if they know you are having a bad home. Therefore, good marriage is another good way to grow your church.
11.Restoration. “For it they fall, one will lift his companion, but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up” (Eccl. 4:10). Good marriage helps in restoration of failure or falling. It is a balm of Gilead for painful slip.
12.Guards against Immorality: Good marriage helps to avoid sexual sins. When a man is satisfied with fried rice, he is not likely going to steal someone else’s popcorn. When a man is fulfilled at home, it becomes a little bit more difficult to commit adultery.
Work on your marriage. No MATRIMONY, NO MINISTRY. Give God a room in your ministry by creating a home for Him in your Marriage.
Remember – The Home-front is the real front of your ministry.
Bisi Adewale is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 40 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster.
Get daily lesson and teaching and articles from his blog: bisiadewale.com or visit: You can also get his resources at http://www.totalfamilyresources.com You can also send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Visit http://www.bisiadewale.com for daily updating!