• Bisi Adewale

Before you think you mis-married or think that your spouse is a devil, I want you to take your time to read something nobody has ever told you before.

  1. ROMANCE: You started with deep love and romance, then you got married
  2. BUSYNESS: You entered the realm of a normal life, getting busy with your jobs and children.
  3. TURNED NURTURING: While dating, your nurturing was focused on your union and making your partner happy.

After the wedding, your ”Nurturing” turned to care for your children, your jobs, spending time with friends and hobbies.

Your spouse ceased to be the centre of attraction. In marriages today, both husband and wife are involved in the failure to nurture their marriages.

  1. DEATH OF ROMANCE: Because marriage is no more nurtured, romance dies a natural death. Touching, kissing, hugging, holding, fondling, and humour stopped almost at the same time.
  2. ROUTINE MODE: The marriage then enters into the routine mode, leading to a boring life. The couple gets bored when they are together.
  3. IRRITATION SETS IN. Everything about each other becomes irritating. Things that were sources of joy suddenly become sources of irritations.
  4. OFFENCES: Most couples begin to keep offenses in the storeroom of their heart. They show it once in a while via complaints, nagging, criticism, etc.
  5. ANGER: Offences will then lead to anger. Sometimes, it can lead to all manners of negativity as people display their anger.
  6. BITTERNESS: When irritations, offenses and anger are not attended to and nipped in the bud, it grows to become deep-seated bitterness.
  7. FULL-BLOWN MARITAL CRISIS: A full-blown marital crisis is the next bus stop if bitterness is not dealt with. This can lead to constant fightings, hatred, malice, abusive words, etc.
  8. VIOLENCE: If the full-blown crisis is not dealt with, it grows to involve violence or abuses which can be verbal, physical, emotional, financial.
  9. SEPARATION: This is the next bus stop in case of violence. They will first, start from room separations to outright house separation. Divorce might also take place. If they do not divorce, they may settle and start to chain all over again.’

Most couples in marriage are not aware of this chain. They support the growth of the chain by their actions, inactions and reactions towards each other, destroying their marriage in the process.