1.Good Character. “Through wisdom is an house builded and by understanding it is established. Develop good attitude that will make your marriage material and marketable. You need to purge yourself of every bad character like talkativeness, nagging, abuses, keeping malice, anger, pride, backbiting, gossiping, anger, stubbornness, and what have you. All these combined together to uproot anybody from a good life and marriage. Work on yourself and allow God to breathe on you and make you develop good character such as kindness, forgiving spirit, humility, neatness, joyous, happiness,  hospitality, all these combined will grant good marriage with God on your side.

2.Good Choice. There no decision without a choice and whatever choice you make today determines your future. If you choose wrongly, you will live your choose andif you allow God to determine your marital choice; you will have a good marriage. Avail yoursekf the opportunity to make God lead you to choices in life.

3.Good Communication. If you don’t know how to talk well, you will not have people’s favour. Learn when and when not to talk. Proverbs 4:7 says, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And with all thy getting, get understanding. You must act and react wisely at all individual difference. Develop a large heart to accommodate people with their difference. This attitude will help you a lot in your marriage. Shalom!

Every creature of God is good; the intention of God for creating marriage is good. Believe and receive this fact in Jesus name. Amen!

1.Good God. “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; fear God and keep His commandments; for this is the whole duty of man. Acquaint now, thyself with Him and be at peace; thereby good shall come unto thee”. Job 22:21. God Almighty is needed in the boat of your marriage for you to sail through and not capsized. If you are yet to give your life to Jesus and you think you can have it good in the area of marriage; you are deceiving yourself. Surrender your totality to Him today and He will lead you aright. Your flesh and sins will lead you astray, fornication will not give you a good marriage it is righteous life that can make God happy with you and bless you with a good husband/wife. Accept Jesus today.

2. Good Foundation. “If the foundations be destroyed; what can the righteous do? Psalm 11:3. Solid foundation is needed for a good marriage. Lay a foundation that cannot be pulled down by winds and storms of life. The foundation of any building determines the durability of whatever structure you have put on it. If you want a lasting marriage then erect a good foundation that will not make the building of your marriage to collapse. Here are some ingredient, you must put together to have a good foundation:

Genuine Conversion. Be recognized by God so that you can receive from Him a good marital life.

Be prayerful. Prayer is needed for a glorious marriage.

Be patient. Do not be in haste; nobody can marry the man and woman God has destined for you.

Allow God to lead you. Your naked eyes can only see the physical; but with spiritual eyes through God; you can see the content and make up of any man and woman. Romans 8:14.

Godly Counsel. Let godly and elderly people especially your pastor and father in the Lord guide you with spiritual knowledge and experience. “For by wise counsel, thou shall make thy war; and in multitude of counselors there is safety.

Children are blessings from God and they are not meant to grief our heart. If there is any of your children that is making you sad and giving you sorrow, the Lord will touch him or her today and there will be testimony in Jesus name.

Here are some parenting tips that will guide you and make you a fruitful parent.

a. Change your Perspective. Do not see your children as a source of worry for you, never look at them as if they are burden. They are gifts from God that must be accepted with thanksgiving.

b. Lead by Example. There is tendency for your children to respect whatever you do in their presence whether good or bad. Always be conscious of your attitude at home and wherever. Be a good example to them. Do not just teach them but act whatever you preach.

c. Train your Children. Create avenue for your children to learn from you. Let the atmosphere at home be conducive for them. “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. Proverbs 22:6.

d. Spend Time With Them. Do not just buy them toils but give your children your time. Never allow them to be at the mercy of your maids and neighbour. Nobody can help you nurture them the way you will do it. Please set your priority right.

e. Show Love. A child wants to be loved because that will give hi or her a high self-esteem and sense of belonging. It will build confidence in them. Parents must communicate and demonstrate love at home, don not just keep it in your heart; please show and say it to them. Never starve your children of your love at home, they may want to look for it outside at all cost and in the process they can fall into a wrong hand and suffer loss. Do not permit God to blame you; whatever you are doing as parents, you will give account one day.

f. Be firm and fair to them. Never discipline them without discussing with them why they are punished. Do not just beat at all time, talking will work too. There are times to use rod and words of counsel. Please, adopt the right tool at the right time. Encourage them to carry your instructions to letter. Always stand your ground on some issues that will increase that respect for you.

g. Motivate Them. Be a motivator to your children. Inculcate in them, grace to believe in themselves. You must make them know that they can do all things through Christ that strengthens them. (Philippians 4:13). Encourage your children to put more efforts to their studies, let them not accept failure as their final answer, let them know that God created them not to serve their mate. They must be the head and not the tail. Teach them never to be afraid but be bold in the Lord to take giant steps. Shalom!

Your children are what you make them to be. It is impossible to raise a godly children by chance, it involve a delibrate input of your effort, responsibilty and sacrfices, but i want to assure you that you will definately reap the reward. The children you pamper unnecessarily may  tamper with your old age. listed below are the element of deliberate parenting:  

1.Genuine Conversion of the Parents; You cannot raise godly children without you being godly. It is also impossible for unrighteous parents to rear righteous children.

2. Good Example; Eighty percent (80%) of what your children will learn from you is what they see you doing. Strangely, what you teach them will take only 20%. Consequently, you must be a good example to your children and they should be able to emulate you

3.Prayer; Your children can reject your example, resist your training, oppose your leadership, or even disdain your person, but they are powerless in the presence of your prayers. Pray for them; a child birth in prayers can never go astray.

4.Predetermined Purpose; You must predetermine the purpose of your training with a destination in mind. What do you see them becoming tomorrow? How do you want them to behave? Set your goals and train them towards that.

5.Love; The best way to lead a child is to lead them in love. You can not LURE or LORD them into following you, you can only LOVE them to do it. Be a friend, and a mentor. Be “FIRM” and “FAIR”, be a balanced parent.

6.Method Determined; How do you want to train them? Are you going to use books as a guide to teach them? Is it by stories? or both. You need to know the method you intend to use for them.

7.Right Timing. Teach the children at the right time, don not wait until they become adults before you begin to show them the way of the Lord. Do it now! Do it quickly! Do it before their minds are made up. Fill their hearts with the words of the Lord, lest the devil fills them with his own words. Don not get busy to the extent that you neglect these little ones, thereby raising them for the evil one.

8.Persistency and Consistency; To get results, you must be persistent and consistent. Keep on teaching your children even if you do not see any immediate result. Rain is coming, continue in season and out of season, you will definitely rejoice later. Remember, they that sow in tears shall reap in joy. “He that go forth and weep, bearing precious seed, SHALL DOUBTLESS COME AGAIN WITH REJOICING, BRINGING HIS SHEAVES WITH HIM.” (Psalm 126:5-6)

Deliberate parenting is the act of purposely raising a child by setting aside time to train the child, teach the child what do to, things to avoid, how to live his or her life, importance of serving God, how to be useful to themselves, the church of God, the society and still be the best in whatever they lay their hands upon. If you can consciously work your family you will definitely reap the reward. It what it to involve your self in deliberate parenting because the negative impact can not be quantify, it will affect the parent, the family, the church and the society.

Other Types of Parenting

1 – Zero Parenting. This is a situation devoid of teachings, trainings, instructions or corrections. A child left to himself will be destroyed.

2 – Haphazard Parenting. This is a form of parenting that is done without focus, planning or purpose. There is no intentional teaching in this kind of parenting.

3 – Bully Parenting. This involves shouting, beating, hurting or terrifying the child into submission. This can never yield positive results as the products on such parenting techniques are rebels instead of children. This method of parenting can also create deep hatred in the heart of the child.

4 – Spineless Parenting. This is the kind of parenting where the parents are not bold enough to discipline the child. They indulge the child as they give him or her whatsoever he or she wants. This kind of parenting is deficient of correction or reprove and will surely produce delinquent children.

5 – Specific Parenting. This is a step ahead of deliberate parenting, which involves teaching a child because of flaws discovered in him.

You can put an end to constant quarrel in your home; you can turn your home to a place to be. All you need is Godly wisdom to put all weapons of war in your marriage to rest. They are:

1. Give room for the spirit of God: Allow Holy Spirit to be your teacher and friend. Let the spirit of holiness and righteousness take over your totality. By so doing, you will fear the Lord and this will enable you to hate quarrel.

2. Readiness to forgive: Be ready to forgive and forget any pain/grief caused you by your spouse. If you are truly crucified with Jesus, you will not find it difficult to forgive, forgive your spouse no matter the gravity of his/her offences so that you can receive forgiveness from God. Any time, you bear grudges against anybody when you see him/her, your mind pricks. It means you can only be at peace when your mind/heart frees all your offenders. Forgive, It is good for your healthy and life.

3. Ability to Say Sorry: This simple statement “I am Sorry” might save you from a lot of troubles if only you can use it every time there is a misunderstanding at home. This statement does not change your position or status but add value to you. Quarrel or misunderstanding among couples would be a thing of the past if only every man Husband or wife is ready to say I am sorry”. If you find it difficult to say this, ask God to give you the grace. Lock up yourself in the room and say it several times. You will find out that you will be able to apologise for any wrong deed against your spouse.

4. Understand your Spouse: When you understand your spouse, it will reduce the frequency of your offence against him/her. You have got to study your spouse likes and dislikes so that it will be easy for you to live in harmony. Never compare your spouse with anybody. Do not say, why are you not behaving like this or that person? Appreciate your spouse. Let him/her be happy for marrying you. Take delight in satisfying your spouse. By doing so, you are creating joy in your home.

5. Destroy Record of Offences: Never keep records of your spouse wrong deeds. It is ungodly to start reminding your spouse what he or she did in the second year of your wedding when celebrating your tenth year anniversary. If God can forget your past sin and give you a clean bill of health, why can you not you forget your spouse past offences? Never keep diary of offence. It is ungodly.

6. Acceptability: Accept your spouse, the way he or she is. Remember, we have gender or individual differences and you are from different families and background. Accept his/her way of life, and if there is need for a change or an improvement, introduce it wisely.

7. Never Revenge: Do not recompense evil for evil. Because you caught your man in an illicit relationship does not mean you should also engage in such act. It will never be a plus to your marriage but would worsen the situation. Never retaliate rather reconcile.

8. Be Prayerful: Pray without ceasing, The best you can do to eliminate feud in your home is to pray. Commit your spouse to God in prayers. Do not think it is a little thing and you can handle it. The devil may penetrate if there is no power of God at work. Rebuke the spirit of quarrel and you will be glad you did. Use the key of prayer to silence the devil in your marriage. There is nothing you can do on your own. Leave the battle for God and He will fill your lips with testimonies.

9. Communication: Let there be no communication breakdown in your marriage. Express your mind wisely, if there is anything you are not comfortable with, keep discussing with your spouse until you are both satisfied. Never bottle up any issue because you might explode in a negative way in the future.

10. Agreement: Can two walk together, except they agree. Be ready to agree with your spouse. Never prove difficult. Let there be agreement in prayer, discipline of children, dealing with in-laws, finances, relations with friends, harmonizing career, etc. When there is agreement in marriage, success is inevitable.

1. Constant Quarrelling: You and your spouse do fight regularly about money shows you are operating on a wrong financial system. This shows that there is a problem financially. If you allow constant disagreement about money in your marriage, it will destroy trust and love in your home. Continuous misunderstanding in the area of finance at home is a sign that both of you and your spouse are not mature in the area of family finance; you need to improve on that.

2. You are Stingy: Stinginess is one way to make money work against your family. If you are too stingy that your family is suffering from the basic needs of life, despise the fact that you have sufficient money and you do not care about them. Note that there is a difference between prudence and stinginess. It is prudence if you decide not to buy a second phone or expensive clothes. But it is stinginess if you fail to pay your children school fees, pay house rents or buy food stuff for the family.

3. Family Replacement: You look for money at the expense of your family thereby replacing your family with money. If all you do is to look for money all day long with no family time, no time for your spouse or your children then money is working against you and you are working on a wrong financial system. The best gift you can give to your family is your time. How can you prove to them that you love them without spending time with them? Create time for your family.

4. Wrong Money Usage: There are good and bad ways to use money. If you spend your money to better the lot of your family and humanity, or you save and invest them, you are using money positively. But if you spend money on hard drugs, alcohol, immoral activities, or on criminal activities, then you are using money wrongly. There is no way you use money wrongly that it will not have a negative effect on your family.

Love is like a game of football, nobody will appreciate your skill until you display it. Likewise your husband will not know how much you love him until you demonstrate it. Put the following things in to action and see how awesome your man could be:

1. Say “I love you” often to him.

2. Tell him often that you are happy to marry him.

3. Cook his food promptly.

4. Listen to him when he talks.

5. Pray with him often.

6. Sit on his lap when you are alone.

7. Tell him he is handsome, brilliant and wealthy.

8. Occasionally, take his food to him in the bedroom before he gets up especially on weekends.

9. Sit down with him as he watches football or any other programme on TV.

10. Learn some things about his job and discuss these with him.

11. Scrub his back for him in the bathroom as you take your bath together.

12. Write a love letter and post it to him in the office.

13. Call him on phone just to say, “I love you”.

14. Give him gifts often.

15. Tell him that the best thing that ever happened to you after your salvation is him.

16. Ask for his opinion often and follow it. This will boost his ego.

17. Sit down with him in the living room and place your head on his lap when alone.

18. If your children do anything good, tell them they took after their father.

19. Take the first move in bed. Tell him gently “I want your touch, my love,” Don’t be ashamed. He is your husband

20. Write love poems for him and read it to him as he is relaxing

21. Welcome him home with a hug.

22. Ask for forgiveness when you offend him.

23. Never disagree with him publicly.

24. Laugh to his jokes even though you have heard them so many times. It shows him you love him.

25. Read the Bible to his hearing.

26. Never disagree with him when he disciplines the children.

27. Always allow him to teach you and ask questions.

28. Hang his picture in your office and in the room.

29. When he is not driving and you are travelling together, place your head on his chest or lap and sleep off.

30. Love his mother and other relations.

31. Never raise your voice when talking to him.

32. Whisper in his ears when he is in the crowd and tell him “I love you”, “you are handsome”, “you look like a king”.

42. Ask him what do you want me to do better in my cooking?

43. Write and paste a romantic message for him in the bedroom.

44. Help him to massage his body; spend time on the back, thigh, tummy, chest, face, buttocks, leg, etc.

45. Send gifts to his mother often

46. Give him the needed attention

47. Prepare his favourite meal for him

48. Dress well and walk smartly

49. Help him as he dresses out for an outing

50. Appreciate him at the end of the month in company of the children for taking care of you throughout the month.

Money plays a major role in the success of any relationship, if the principles stated below are strictly adhered to definitely your marriage is sure to stand out and be a pace setters among others. These are some of the solutions provided for combating the problems caused by money in marriage.

Solution 1: All couples should create time to talk about their financial life together. They should not indulge in hiding their pay pack form from each other. It is right for spouses to know what their financial income looks like. Financial decision in marriage should be a continuous work, keep on talking like friends.

Solution 2: Make your immediate family your major priority on your spending list.. It is your obligation to meet your family needs. You must provide good housing, clothing, medication, food, education for the advancement of your home.

Solution 3: It is imperative not allow affection to die because of money. Find time to be with your wife. Dating and courting should start afresh after the wedding and do not just make money; make marriage.

Solution 4: You need to know that there is no honour for the lazy man. it is disgraceful and full of shame. It is a habit that have been developed over a long time, hence you need to cultivate the habit of hardworking. Do not pretend about it, do not allow it to destroy your life. If you fail to assume responsibility, then you will soon become a liability

Solution 5: Cultivate the act of intimate discussion about the plans both of your have for the future. Try not to lose your focus, chat and discuss about it. It is germane that both of you must have the same focus, to make things easier.

Solution 6: Always try not to live above your means of income but live below it. Avoid buying what you do not need.

Their Qualities includes:
1. Wisdom: They are full of wisdom. They live based on wisdom and valor.
2. Submissive: They apologize to their husbands easily when they are wrong.
3. Faithful: They are faithful to their husbands and home. They are women of integrity and dignity.
4. Lovers: They love their husbands and children. They would do anything to protect their home.
5. Decent: They are set of decent women which also reflect in their dressing (Presentable and neat).
6. Fears God: They fear the Lord in all their doing.
7. Supporters: They are strong pillars in life of their husbands, not caterpillars. They always support their hubby.
8. They are meek and subjected to their husbands.
9. Honor: They honor and respect their husbands.
10. Industrious: They are industrious and hardworking.
11. Homemaker: They are homemakers, home keepers and home managers.
12. Appreciative: They are appreciative, they know how to appreciate their husbands.
13. Romantic: They are caring and romantic.
14. Diligent: They are diligent in all their work.
15. Obedient: They are obedient to God and their husbands.
16. Investors: They invest their time, attention and attention on their homes.
17. Life Builders: They never go round to report their husbands.
18. Solution Seeker: They only seek counsel from Pastors and quality counselors in time of problem.
19. Sexually Active: They are skillful in the bedroom, they know sex as part of their duty to their men and give everything to make it great for the husbands.

Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success, He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 30 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster.

Get daily lesson and teaching and articles from this blog: bisiadewale.com or visit: www.familybooster.com. You can also get his resources at http://www.totalfamilyresources.com You can also send a mail to familybooster01@yahoo.com. Visit bisiadewale.com OR breakthroughforsingles.com for daily updating!