SEVENTEEN HABITS THAT SHOWS YOUR MARRIAGE IS NOT GREAT – Part 2
– Bisi Adewale
God intention is for every marriage of His children to be great. In continuation of our last articles. Listed below are habits in your marriage that shows it’s not great:
- YOU TALK AT EACH OTHER, YOU DON’T TALK TO EACH OTHER
Talking at each other involves blame game, accusation, counter-accusation, finger pointing, shouting, abusive words, name calling, slander, curses etc. If you do any of these, then you have a poor marriage.
Talking to each other involves dialogue, discussion, listening, clarifications, effective communications, praise and appreciation. If this is what you are doing you have a great marriage.
- THERE ARE HIDDEN PURCHASES
You may not realize it, but doing “hidden shopping” weakens your marriage. And you know the name of this attitude? Financial infidelity. That’s right, you’re cheating on your spouse. When you keep hiding money and shop without the other knowing, you demonstrate that you do not trust your spouse and that your spouse is not worthy of your trust.
I know this is very strong, but it’s real. A relationship is made of trust, of delivery, and of truth. If you hide, it’s because you know it’s wrong, and if it’s wrong, why keep doing it?
- YOU ARE CARELESS WITH YOUR APPEARANCE
Years of marriage may pass, but your care of appearance should not pass. At the time of the courtship, there was preparation for the meeting, wasn’t it? Bathing, fingernails and clean clothes, hair combed … and now, have you done it? The conquest continues, it does not stop.
Our exterior demonstrates what is inside us. If the hair is unkempt, surely something is messed up inside as well.
- YOU DON’T TRUST EACH OTHER
I cannot imagine how a person can marry someone he/she does not trust. This seems to be out of the question. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. As long as you do not trust your spouse, he will not trust you as you will never feel secure in each other; and you will always be fighting over the causes of this evil.
- YOU COMPLAIN OR NAG
It’s so much easier to complain than to act, isn’t it? Everything seems bad, unsatisfactory, and insufficient; everything seems to have defects and so on. You miss great opportunities to be happy because you have been taking the time to complain about what is not good. This behaviour becomes a habit, an addiction, and it is not at all easy to abandon this custom.
You complain that your husband does not help with household chores, but when he helps you, you find faults in what he did. You complain that your wife is not looking after her appearance, but when she goes to the beauty salon, you complain about the time she spent there and the money you spent.
Try to see the positive things. In everything there is opposition, even in bad situations, there is something good.
- YOU REPORT YOUR SPOUSE TO OUTSIDERS
You have this bad attitude of reporting your spouse to every dick and harry that cares to listen. While it’s a sign of immaturity, it’s also a sign that something is wrong with your marriage
- YOU LUST AFTER OTHER MEN OR WOMEN
To you, other women or men are better than your spouse. Some even imagine sleeping with other people out there thinking they are by far better than their spouses
- YOU ARE NOT LOYAL TO EACH OTHER
Many husbands and wives are not loyal to each other. They talk ills of each other when their spouses are not there, but pretend all is well when they see each other. They do many things at the back of each other that are really bad but cover it up with fake care and love.
- YOU DON’T GIVE SEX A PRIORITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE
When sex is not given its rightful place in marriage, it is a sign something terrible is happening in that home. Sex is the lubricant of marriage; sex is the cement of matrimony. When it becomes a chore or source of discord in a marriage, it’s a sign that something is really wrong