– Bisi Adewale
To get marriage right, you must know how to think right about your marriage, family, love, sex and about your partner. When you don’t think right, you can’t live right. If you don’t live right; you can’t get marriage right.
The Bible says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so he is…..”Proverbs 23:7. Your thinking will determine your habits, characters, actions, words, reactions, the way you handle your spouse, etc.
To get marriage right, then learn to think right, deal with mentality, form a good conception generally about marriage, love, sex, opposite sex, in-laws, husbands and wives’ role, communication, marital relationship, third parties, etc. There is no way you can be the best if you have the worst conception.
How do you see your spouse? What is your thinking about him/her? Do you dishonour his/her in your mind? Do you think you’ve mis-married? Are you feeling you are not getting as you are putting into the relationship? Etc. This kind of thinking can never help your marriage and your family life; you need to learn to think right.
Creative positive haven for your spouse in your heart, make a room for him or her to be a king or queen in your minds, accept your mate totally, never think you mis-married, see him/her as a man/woman of honour, see her as the “best choice”, see him as your hero, your prince charming.
Heart is the seat of love; positive thinking is the strength of love, there is no way you can have room for anybody in your heart, if you’ve not been thinking positively about the person. Your spouse may not be an angel, he/she is definitely not a devil, no matter how “terrible” you may think he/she is, there is still something good and great about him/her, all you need to do is to relax to see the good aspect of the person heaven deliberately created for you.
Kind thinking involves, thought of forgiveness, reconciliation, intimacy, giving gift to ones’ spouse, appreciation, acceptance, togetherness, deep love, fondness, openness, truth, purity, fidelity, etc. your thinking about your lovely wife and wonderful husband should center on those things mentioned above. Sanitize your heart, clear your mind, free yourself from every “pollution”, create a throne for the one you chose to marry in your heart then in your home. If you treat her as a queen, she will treat you as a king (vice versa)
Never permit the following though in your heart, though of retaliation, infidelity, keeping secrets, punishing your spouse, separation, divorce, hatred, lying, rejection, beating, strife, nagging, malice, etc. These are corrosion, they can destroy any marriage no matter how good and solid you may think they her.
Always remember that to build a strong, virile, solid and blissful marriage; you need kind thinking.