-By Bisi Adewale
There is nothing wrong in marrying a widow,it is Biblical and it is cultural,but there are many things involve in getting married to a widow that you must be aware of before going into it.
1) IS HER MOURNING PERIOD OVER?
Kindly refrain from marrying a widow shortly after the death of her husband,that will be callous and insensitive. A widow should be allowed to mourn her husband for at least a year before going into another relationship
2) HAS SHE OVERCOME HER BEREAVEMENT? It takes a long time for most women to overcome the loss of a husband and move on. In the period of their mourning; most are always in emotional turmoil, if you they go into relationship at this period, many do go into wrong relationships making very deep mistakes.11 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER BEFORE MARRYING A WIDOW
Let a widow get over her bereavement .Naturally, there are processes to pass through, give her the time to cry and weep if she must.Forget about marrying her for now, just be a friend.
3) HOW MANY CHILDREN DOES SHE HAVE? A Widow with five Children will definitely be a great burden for you couple with the fact that you want her to raise children for you too. Are you ready for that kind of large family.?
4) WHERE WILL HER CHILDREN BE? A widow with Children may want to go into the new marriage with her Children. Are you really ready for extra responsibility?
5) ARE YOU READY TO BE A FATHER TO HER CHILDREN? If she is bringing her Children, are you ready to be their father?
6) IS SHE READY FOR NEW LOVE OR JUST NEED A CHEST? A crying widow may not be ready for a new love-life but looking for a Chest. If your own chest is available, you may think she is in love with you,she is not. You need to clarify this.11 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER BEFORE MARRYING A WIDOW
7) ARE YOU READY FOR THE SHADOW OF HER LATE HUSBAND? Believe me,either you like it or not,if you marry a widow,you will be under the shadow of her late husband for a very long time. She will compare you with him.She will talk about him,talk to his friends,visit his family,his family will visit her,may mention his name in dream or when you are making love together. Are you ready for that?
8) ARE YOU READY FOR THE PROBLEM OF BLENDED FAMILY? She has some Children from her previous marriage,may be you have some Children too from your previous relationship,that will end you in a blended family not a monogamous family. Blended family has many problems associated with it, are you ready for that?
9) ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT HER WITH HER BAGGAGE: She has so many baggages to contend with. Emotional hurts,family issues,financial burdens,fear,Children,shadow of her husband,love for her late husband etc
Are you ready to contend with these.11 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER BEFORE MARRYING A WIDOW
10) IS THIS LOVE OR SYMPATHY: A times; you may think you fall in love while it is just that you are sympathizing with a suffering fellow. The lady you want to marry is emotionally broken,she is bereaved and now you are in “love” with her,is this love or sympathy. If you marry somebody out of sympathy,people may have reasons to sympathize with you later.
11) HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN HER? You also need to consider this,do you really know her? how long have you known her? This is very important.11 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER BEFORE MARRYING A WIDOW
Marriage is a lifelong issue don’t rush into it, it may end in regret.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on firstname.lastname@example.org, 08068312004, Whatsaap 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter @bisiadewale