-By Bisi Adewale
How To Feed Your Marriage
“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep”. How To Feed Your Marriage
- Marriage is an organism not an organization; it needs to be fed with good ‘food’.
When marriage is starved of its food, it leads to serious marital crisis
- Spiritual Diet. The first kind of food you must give to your marriage if you really want it to work and be a great marriage is a spiritual diet. By spiritual diet, I mean, your marriage must be saturated in prayers, fasting, the word of God, church attendance, serving the Lord, praises unto God, living Holy and righteous life, family altar, raising children in the way of the Lord, evangelism, etc. When couples decide to love God with all their hearts and serve Him together and love each other, they automatically sign up their marriage for a life time of bliss.How To Feed Your Marriage
“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:1-2. Don’t ever leave God out of your marital calculation if success is your desire.How To Feed Your Marriage
- Emotional Diet. Another diet you need to feed your marriage with is emotional diet. Marriage does not involve only physical things. It involves deep emotion which must be handled with care. Emotional diet involves trust, love, acceptance, high self esteem, forgiveness, making your partner feel loved, valued, respected and honoured. These are great gifts you can give to your marriage. Ephesians 5:33
- Financial Diet. Provision of money and physical needs of your family is something that can never be overemphasized. Financial diet in marriage involves more than knowing how to make money, rather it involves knowing how to make money, spend it wisely, how to manage, save, maximize, give it out and invest it in such a way that it will not just be useful today but it will also cover your family tomorrow. Proverbs 21:20
- Time Diet. Time is one of the greatest investments you can put into your marriage and family life. You can only bond if you spend time together. Many people are married but do not have a marital relationship. You can be married by law and by the recognition of your parents, family members, church members, etc, but until you enter a marital relationship by spending time together, you cannot get the best of your marriage. Time is required to build intimacy, oneness and an unbreakable bond in your home.How To Feed Your Marriage
- Relationship Diet. To build a marital relationship, not just marriage, you need to give your marriage “relationship diet” to get the best out of it. Ingredients of the relationship diet are:
- You must create time to talk.How To Feed Your Marriage
- You need to build friendship into your marriage; after all, you started as friends. You must continue as friends. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Prov. 18:24
- You need to stretch out your hands to service.
- Adequate support for each other is the key to that success we desire in marriages.
- You must be transparent and trustworthy and also trust your spouse.
- Appreciating each other genuinely is another way to a better marriage.
- Character diet. Your character, your habits, your manners are very important to the success of your marriage. To build a great marriage; you must give your marriage a character diet of meekness, forgiveness, patience, fidelity, love, service, goodness, care, etc and remove all bad characters that may be a stumbling blocks to a great marriage. “Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes”. SOS 2:15
- Mental Diet. A great marriage starts from the mind. The way you view your spouse, love, opposite sex, marriage, sex and romance will form how you will relate with your spouse. A right mental attitude will help you to build a great marriage. So, learn to think positively about your spouse. Place value on your spouse even in your mind. See yourself as somebody privileged to have married him or her, not the other way round. Proverbs 4:23
- Recreational Diet. Don’t just give your marriage a time diet, go beyond that. Give it a recreational diet. Many couples create time to be together but eventually, they spend the time engrossed in other things. The man may be reading newspaper, watching television, working on the computer, playing or browsing with his phones, while the woman will be busy with the children or fashion magazines. These cannot help grow your marriage. Spend time together relaxing and playing. Spend this time focused on each other. That is what can translate into a great marriage.
- Intellectual Diet. This involves constant improving of your knowledge about marriage and family life, by constantly seeking wisdom and knowledge. These you can do by reading books, attending seminars, trainings and attending marriage schools. Proverbs 24:3-7
- Moral Diet. Fidelity in marriage is a great gift for you, your spouse and your marriage. This excludes all forms of sexual immorality including masturbation, pornography or adultery.
- Dream Diet. A great marriage acknowledges dreams not just needs. While good marriage seeks to meet the needs of one’s spouse, a great marriage goes with one’s spouse dreams. While meeting needs can be physical only, “meeting dreams involve the soul, spirit and body. It involves deep talking and sharing, it leads to connection and bond which are not easily broken. So, go ahead, dream together about your children, future, career. Discuss deeply about your vision, aspirations, goals, plans and your passions. When a marriage gets to the dream level, it makes the couple truly intimate and one. Proverbs 29:18
- Romance Diet. This involves mixing the time diet and recreational diet and practically exceeding it. Be vulnerable to each other and play like little children, entering the sanctuary of each other, holding hands, touching, kissing and hugging like young lovers. SOS 2:4
- Sexual Diet. A good marriage is not limited to a romance diet. It will go ahead to the level of “naked but not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24). Sex is a major food for marriage and should be seen as a gift from God to the married couple alone. It should not be viewed as a house chore or become a conflict point in marriage. Both should do it with joy, passion and expectation. Couple should discuss about it and seek ways to enjoy each other better and explore this special gift from God to them; this is only meant to take place within the four walls of marriage.
THE BALANCED DIET
The combination of the different diets previously addressed ensures a balanced diet and leads to a great marriage. So, don’t neglect any of them. If you feed your marriage with only few of them it will lead to malnutrition in your matrimony. Work on them and do all you can do to include them in your marriage and come out with a great marriage.