Why Fighting Is Normal In Marriage
Why Fighting Is Normal In Marriage


By Bisi Adewale

There are many ways people handle quarrel in their marriage,we need to examine them and Lear how to handle misunderstanding like adults and stop fighting like babies.

For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? (1 Corinthians 3:3 KJV)
It is interesting to know how couples quarrel. Some educated ones behave like illiterates while many others act like babies when they quarrel.
1. ‘Pity Party’ quarreling. Couples in this category prefer to lament, nag and pity themselves. They become sad and depressed whenever there is a quarrel at home. HOW NOT TO QUARREL IN MARRIAGE. HOW NOT TO QUARREL IN MARRIAGE.
2. Snail quarreling style. If you use touch a moving snail it quickly withdraws into its shell. These couples also prefer to withdraw into their ‘shell’, become moody, unnecessarily quiet, and unconcerned. Some men will move into another room and close the door. Some can even leave the house without anybody knowing their whereabouts. HOW NOT TO QUARREL IN MARRIAGE. HOW NOT TO QUARREL IN MARRIAGE.
3. Bulldozer quarrelling style. Those in this group fight aggressively. They quarrel like mad dogs, fight like garage boys or market women. Argument to them means a battle. They use everything at their disposal to fight. They are ready to fight their spouses at home and, even move to the church or office to continue with the fight. They destroy anything on their way as they fight. They reveal the secrets of their spouses abuse their in-laws, destroy TV sets, cars, house utensils and electronic gadgets. They see real battle as a way to peace. Their slogan is “I hate cheating; you cannot cheat me”. They are known as trouble-makers. HOW NOT TO QUARREL IN MARRIAGE. HOW NOT TO QUARREL IN MARRIAGE.
4.  Reporters quarrelling style. People in this category go to anybody that cares to listen to report their spouses. They report to their children, parents, in-laws, neighbours, friends and anybody that cares to listen.
5.  Suffering and smiling style. Those in this group are ready to do anything to look for peace except communication and counseling. They easily compromise with their partner to give peace a chance. Even if they are not happy they pretend everything is alright. They will never tell anybody their problem but will rather prefer to live in sadness and depression. Atimes their spouses may even think they are in good term.
6. Avoidance style. They either avoid the issue or turn it to an ‘’untouchable’’, or avoid each other like plagues, thereby finding solace in their children, work, friends or strange women.
7. Ambush quarrelling style. Couples in this group are fond of vengeance. They pretend all is well and each waits for his own opportunity to hit back. The wife may wait until the husband asks for sex to ‘’deal with him’’ while the husband waits till the time his wife will ask for money.
8. Diabolical quarrelling style. Some go as far as using diabolical means to fight their spouses.
9. Round table quarrelling style. People in this group engage positive communication means. They talk heart to heart. They disagree, argue or even quarrel without abuses, manipulation or beating. They speak their minds and listen to their spouses without interrupting with a view to finding an amicable solution.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog:,