5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
From following the ewes great with young he brought him to feed Jacob his people, and Israel his inheritance. So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands (Psalms 78:71-72 KJV).
‘’None of us goes into marriage expecting to fail, we all want to succeed, but few of us have the skills” – Jimmy Evans. 5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE 5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE 5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE
A successful marriage is not a product of wishful thinking or prayer and fasting only; it is a product of skills successfully developed by individual involved in the marriage. If you desire a successful marriage, work to develop the following skills:
- Spiritual life skill
Marriage does not emanate from man, it starts with God. That means, marriage is not just physical, it is spiritual. So to make it work, you need to sharpen your spiritual life by studying the Bible daily to know more of God, reading Christian books, listening to messages on CD, DVD and praying regularly in order to get knitted to God (Genesis 2:18, 2 Timothy 2: 15). To be a loving husband despite the shortfall of your wife, you need to be spiritually remoulded. Likewise, a wife needs spiritual strength to be submissive; this is against the current women liberation and equality movement. Continuous forgiveness which is required for a lasting marriage is also a product of sound spiritual life.
2. Romance skill
Marriage can be boring without romance. Its absence makes many to feel lonely while their spouse is at home. To keep experiencing the romance of honeymoon in your marriage, the skill needs to be learned and developed. Romance is not sex. It is conscious demonstration of love and affection to your spouse. Increase your romance skill by sending different love text messages, call just to say I love you, send surprise gifts, engage in regular date nights, stroll around your neighbourhood hand-in –hand, bathe together, lie down together on the sofa with your spouse. All the listed romance skills are not just meant for those in courtship neither are they just for the newlywed but they are for the married throughout a lifetime (Song of Solomon 2: 4). 5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE 5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE 5 SKILLS NEEDED FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE
3. Cooking skill
Bad cooking has severely injured the marriage of many couples. This stresses the importance of good food to the success of a marriage (Proverbs 31: 14 – 15). Men love delicious food and because food matters to them, any woman that must remain relevant in their heart must be excellent at cooking. Though men too must learn how to cook but women must develop their skill in cooking varieties, local, intercontinental and international dishes. Timeliness and variety is the hall mark of good cooking. Wives, learn from other culture, race and country.
4. Leadership skill
“Everything rises and falls on leadership” John Maxwell.
Leadership is the major determining factor of a blissful or failed marriage (Ephesians 5:23).
Many wives suffer in marriage today due to the bad leadership style of their husbands.
Every man should develop the leadership skill of how to run a home, lead his entire family to God, lead a woman, raise godly children and handle in-laws. Likewise a wife should develop her skill in handling her children, siblings, house-maid and in-laws. To develop more leadership skill in marriage, read marriage books, listen to marriage teachings and attend marriage school.
5. Followership skill (Ephesians 5: 24)
Insubordination is a major cause of conflicts in marriage. That is why it is expedient for all the parties in marriage to develop followership skill. While the husband learns how to follow God rightly, the wife learns how to follow God and her husband and the children learn how to follow God and their parents. In a setting like this everything will be well at home. The husband must learn to follow the instruction of God on the role of a man to his wife and children. The wife too must accept and follow the husband well while the children follow the father and their mother. No one must feel too big to be a follower in marriage (1 Corinthians 11:3)