Ten Ways To Improve Financial Intimacy In Marriage – Part 1
“Money related issues in marriage can draw a husband and wife closer together.”
Following this phrase a laugh typically ensues. People think someone is obviously trying to humor them by speaking such ridiculous words. Money brings about intimacy in marriage? I want to plead with you to accept this premise – all married couples have the potential to a healthy and intimate financial relationship.
Here are some of the common complaints about money in marriage: “My husband and I are never on the same page with money.” “My wife wants to tithe, but I don’t think we can afford it.” “My husband keeps doing business deals that cost our family a lot of money.” “My wife keeps buying things for our kids even though we cannot afford it.” Not surprisingly, money fights are one of the leading causes of divorce. I believe financial tension in relationships can be improved if not alleviated if couples commit themselves to following these ten suggestions on how to improve the financial intimacy in their marriage.
Ten ways to improve your financial intimacy in marriage
1. Pray for guidance and wisdom:
Few couples invite God into their financial lives. I think God has some amazing things he can do with our finances if we allow him to enter into the process. Marriage is always a joint relationship between husband, wife, and God.
In your prayers focus on the following:
Pray that God would allow you to put the marriage above any individual concerns. Ask God to guide you in how he wants the funds earned, used, and distributed. Request a double portion of humility so you can be prepared to accept God’s guidance. Plead with God to give you the necessary strength to release control of your money and give God control.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (James1:5 NIV)
2. Be partners
Marriage is an amalgamation of all the pieces of life. The husband and the wife lose their individual identity and become one. “I” is dropped from the vocabulary and replaced with “We.” The married couple no longer uses “my”, but “our”. This includes finances. Every dollar brought into the home is a dollar that belongs to the home. Every dollar that goes out the door is a dollar that the household spent. Erase all notions of individual finances. Forget about who bought what. It doesn’t matter who first signed for the loan. From now on we are in this financial situation together. We have an equal responsibility and an equal opportunity.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 NIV)