MAJOR THINGS YOUR SPOUSE NEEDS
We have four major personal needs, which we expect our spouses to meet.
- We all want to be accepted, be truly loved, praised, celebrated, be respected and honoured. And we want our spouses, above all others to do these.
- We want to be protected; we want to feel safe, and we want peace and tranquility.
- We want success, by doing something significant with our lives. We want to make substantial impact and affect lives, we want to be hailed and make a mark in life
- We want joy and want to enjoy. We want something that will give us pleasure and want to be at ease, we all want to gratify the body and be at the level of intoxicating happiness.
This is the heartfelt desire of every man/woman. They transcend tribe, race or colour, sex, etc because we are in constant need of somebody that will help us to meet these needs. Our expectation as singles is to get somebody to help us fulfill these; we selfishly look for somebody that will do just that. We are constantly driven toward people we feel will help us fulfill these virtues. They are the people we call our friends but we have forgotten that the person we marry has the same needs too.
He/she is looking for that person who will help him/her meet the needs. When we get engaged we pretend, we continue to meet the needs of our spouses. After the wedding we all turn around with one-“cup” singing FILL MY CUP LOVE, I RAISE IT UNTO YOU”. Our spouse lifts up his/her own cup too, and then problem sets in. War begins; complain, criticism and contentions becomes the order of the day. Jolly friends become sworn enemies. “Something is wrong with my spouse and my marriage”, you may say; but that is not true. Your spouse is alright, you are alright too but your expectation is the problem. If both of you are, “NEEDY HUSBAND AND WIFE” you will surely have problems, but if you are “PROVIDER HUSBAND AND WIFE” both of you will be deeply satisfied.