MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?

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MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?
Please Sir,  MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?

MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?-what can I do? I have a very loving husband,Godly and caring but I hate him deeply not because of his fault  or misdeeds. MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?
I dated a guy for seven years and shortly before our wedding; he dumped me only to marry my childhood friend whom he knew through me.
They got married in a very elaborate wedding in my home town in a church beside my house and I was at home on their wedding day ,it was really devastating when I saw my friend in her wedding gown that suppose to be mine.I tried to commit suicide but my Mum stood by me. MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?
That same week ;my husband who was my senior in secondary school came for the school Alumni meeting and proposed to me .Within few days, I did not hesitate to accept his proposal and within six Months;we were married.I was over joyed.
Shortly after the wedding, I discovered my mind is still with James my former boyfriend,he was the one that deflowered me,we started our relationship when I was in SS1 and he is my first love.
Now, I have a very strange emotion towards -James;I hate him for what he did to me,but still; I want him. I don’t enjoy sex with my husband except I pretend am doing it with James. I can’t do without thinking about James.Iam very serious about this.
My husband is doing everything to make me love him but its not yielding any result as my heart  is deeply knitted with James.

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I hardly sleep with my husband,because I hate having sex with him,we are yet to have a baby because we hardly make love together.

Please sir,what can I do?
Mrs O (Dont use my real name for my husband read your blog daily)

COUNSELOR:

Mrs O,
I think you need to come out of your slumber and stop living in the past,this is the future.
James is no more your lover,he is married.I said he is married,he is gone forever,you will never be able to hold,kiss or hug him again(Cry if you must but that is the truth) and he is enjoying his life with his wife.MY HUSBAND IS LOVING BUT I HATE HIM,WHAT DO I DO?
He felt you are not good for him and dumped you.This hurt you deeply.Why will you allow him to continue to hurt your marriage?
Love is a choice,authentic love is a Choice,romantic love is the one that you are talking about,that still crave for James,make a choice to love your husband;someone sent by God to cover your shame. He does not deserve this kind of treatment,and if you are careless enough to lose your husband like you lost James,then you will be a loser forever.Remember that you are yet to have a child for him,you may lose totally if you don’t wake up from this teenage-life infatuation and enter into maturity.
I will advise you to seek counsel from qualified marriage counselor not just your Pastor,you need to undergo love therapy,pray and choose to love your husband.It’s a choice,love is more than a feeling,it’s a choice to be kind,love and serve;enter into it and stop the Childish emotional turmoil.

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