Portrait of a frustrated student being surrounded with piles of books


-Bisi Adewale


CRAZY THINGS MEN DO IN MARRIAGE –She walked briskly into my office with an infectious smile that veiled her sorrow. She dressed in a navy blue skirt with a scarf to match, her designer wrist watch, shoes, bag and expensive clothings really show she is a woman who lives a comfortable life.CRAZY THINGS MEN DO IN MARRIAGE -1

She handed over her counselling form to me as soon as she takes her seat. I was surprise to see “MY HUSBAND IS CRAZY” written under the “reasons for counselling” aspect of the formwhen the form was given to her by my staff.

Seeing this, I said, Madam if your husband is mad; a counsellor is not the best person to see but a psychiatrist. “No sir, my husband is not mad, he is only crazy”. She answered me politely but firmly.

This really got me confused because what my English teacher taught me was that “crazy” is synonym of “mad”. Can you explain this to me ma”. I demanded.CRAZY THINGS MEN DO IN MARRIAGE -1

She looked at me, brought out her handkerchief; wipe the tears that are now gushing out like a pool of water from her eyes. It took her sometimes, but finally she found her voice.CRAZY THINGS MEN DO IN MARRIAGE -1

“Sir”, she blunted out with a cracked voice. “My husband is not mad, he is only crazy, madness is different from craziness, when you are totally out of your mind you are mad, but when you are not out of your mind, but you are out of your senses, you are crazy. This I mean when you are normal in every aspect of life, but you are doing things that are totally abnormal, but you still behave normal in other areas, then you are mad not but crazy, even psychiatrist cannot help you because psychiatrist can also be crazy and not mad, so crazy people are mad men or women that are normal”.

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It was lecture time to me as my counsellee turned the table around to counselled me. I have not seeing things like this before in my more than my twelve years of counselling work.

I took my time to listen to her interesting but confusing explanation and demanded that she should explain better to me, what she told me really made me understand the difference between madness and craziness.

She dipped her hands in her bag and brought out pictures of five beautiful ladies, she said these are the girlfriends of her husband. She said her husband gave her their pictures and demanded that she should help him pick the best one she will be sleeping with among them; as she want to get serious and focus on only one babe instead of wasting his money on five now that I want to live a responsible life. “Is this not crazy sir?” She asked me, I was shocked. Before I could answer, she brought out her phone and showed me nude pictures of the five ladies; taking in different sexual forms. These were  forwarded to her by her husband, to aid her decide which one is the best among them; wonder they say shall never end.


She also showed me the text messages of her husband demanding that she should help him snap the picture of her younger sister nude, because he use to wonder how she is down there.

Recently, he rented an apartment in Ilupeju part of Lagos and told the wife, not to bother to look for her if he doesn’t come home as he and his friends have just rented a 3-bedroom flat as a “slaughter slab” because they discover they have been spending too much on hotels; hence they needed to get a place for themselves. He gave the address of the place to his wife.

This 45 years old man father of four lovely children is normal in every sense of it, but he is doing crazy things in his marriage.

This case made me to ask many women to tell me what they count to be crazy things men do in marriage, result is overwhelming, I have more than forty of them now, I will be showing them to you in the next issue. Over to you women, send crazy things you feel your husband or men are doing in marriage to my mail while men should send what they feel women are doing in marriage to my mail too.

We are going to deal with them as I proffer solution to them.

Crazy things will only make your spouse feel crazy and angry. You can’t build a normal marriage on abnormal behaviours. Your habits, values, characters and manners will decide the state of your marriage. If you are looking for the number one enemy of your marriage; please check the mirror.


Your character is the camera by which the picture of your marriage is taken. The destiny of your marriage is in your daily routine, your habits.

Making your spouse happy should be your number one goal. A child that says his or her mother will not sleep should be ready to stay awake all night. The peace of the bird is the peace of the nest.

One of the greatest gift you can give to yourself is the gift of care to your spouse. Care they say begat care. If you are a care-giver, you will likely receive care. If you give hurt you will end up receiving hurts. Caring is like a hulge; when you give it, you will end up receiving it.

Change your character, your character is your marriage booster. If you behave as a tiger at home, your wife will turn out a tigress. If you are a lover boy at home, you will end up with a lover girl as a wife. Work together with your spouse to build a better tomorrow.

….To be concluded in part two CRAZY THINGS MEN DO IN MARRIAGE -1

Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: