-Bisi Adewale



Before you go into marriage with any one, there are many things you must consider and put in place which will aid your journey into good and excellent marriage.BEFORE TWO BECOME ONE


And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:21-25 KJV).BEFORE TWO BECOME ONE

They are:



Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh Genesis 2:24 KJV.

You must leave your parents and cleave to your spouse; but a natural man cannot really cleave.
‘Leave’ and ‘Cleave’ would have been the same word if not for letter ‘C’ that differentiates them. So when you leave to cleave, you need letter ‘C’ which is Christ.

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C – Stands for Christ

Without Christ you can only LEAVE, but you cannot CLEAVE. If you remove ‘C’ from cleave it becomes leave. In other words, without Christ instead of LEAVING and CLEAVING, people LEAVE AND LEAVE.

Don’t ever marry anybody who lacks the letter ‘C’ (Christ), because you may never be able to cleave to Him. It takes Christ to cement you with your spouse; without Him marriage becomes a prison yard.


Many marriages are destroyed before they are even consummated. Why? Many are married to themselves. They only go to the altar to seek a partner. Nothing destroys and condemns a marriage so easily more than selfishness, stinginess and self-marriage.

One thing that must be done before marriage is death to self. You must learn how to think “we” and “our” instead of mine, me, mine and myself.

Marriage involves service and sacrifice; selfish people cannot give this. If you are not ready to serve don’t ever go into marriage.BEFORE TWO BECOME ONE


For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ 1 Corinthians 3:11 KJV.

Before two become one ;solid foundation is needed. The foundation must be based on the following:

– PRAYER: Seek the face of God aggressively and continuously if you want to choose rightly (Matthew 7:7).
DIVINE DIRECTION: Let the Lord lead you; let Him guide you (Roman 8:14).
– RIGHT STANDARD: Don’t have a standard based on greed, covetousness, selfishness and ignorance. Don’t say you will never marry anybody whose monthly income is not up to six digits.
– DEEP TWO-WAY LOVE: Make sure you marry somebody you love and that loves you dearly too.
– GODLY CHARACTER: Watch out for the character of the person you plan to marry. If it is not acceptable, you will do yourself a lot of favour not to go into that relationship.

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4) AGREEMENT: Talk to the person you intend to marry and make sure you agree on the fundamental areas of marriage, like number of children, Church to attend, where to live, what to do, parenting styles and so on.

5) ADEQUATE PREPARATION: The preparations of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue is from the Lord Proverbs 16:1 KJV. You need to get yourself adequately prepared for marriage before you go into it. You have to prepare in the following ways:

  • Spiritually
  • Moral
  • Physically
  • Emotionally
  • Mentally
  • Character
  • Social (know how to keep friends) Proverbs 18:24
  • Vocational
  • Financially
  • Intellectually (wisdom)

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches Proverbs 24:3-4 (KJV).

  • Domestically: you must know how to cook and manage a home.
  • Parenting: you also need to prepare how to bear ,rear and train your children.
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For more on this, get a copy of our book: PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

6) GOOD JOB: You must have a good source of income that will give you enough funds to take care of yourself and family. People can help you to fund and sponsor your wedding, but nobody will help you to pay bills, rents, rates, fares and fees in your marriage, so you must get a good job before you say “I Do”.
Kindly get a copy of our book titled: BEFORE YOU SAY I DO for more on this.

7) HAVE ADEQUATE KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR PROPOSED PARTNER: You may marry your spouse because of his looks (physical qualities); but, note that you are going to live the rest of your life with him. His inner forms therefore matter more. For this reason, don’t rush into marriage; check whether you really know this person very well. You need to study him adequately, to know his weak and strong points. Don’t deceive yourself saying you are in love; love is not enough for marriage. You need to go beyond that, acquiring vital knowledge of the person.BEFORE TWO BECOME ONE
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author : Secret of an Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog:,