7 THINS THAT MUST BE IN PLACE BEFORE MARRIAGE
Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be one fleshGenesis2:24 KJV.
You must leave your parents and cleave to your spouse; but a natural man cannot really cleave.
‘Leave’ and ‘Cleave’ would have been the same word if not for letter ‘C’ that differentiates them. So when you leaveto cleave, you need letter ‘C’ which is Christ.
C – Stands for Christ
Without Christ you can only LEAVE, but you cannot CLEAVE. If you remove ‘C’ from cleave it becomes leave. In other words, without Christ instead of LEAVING and CLEAVING, people LEAVE AND LEAVE.
Don’t ever marry anybody who lacks the letter ‘C’ (Christ), because you may never be able to cleave to him. It takes Christ to cement you with your spouse;without him marriage becomes a prison yard.
- DEATH TO SELF
Many marriages are destroyed before they are even consummated.Why? Many are married to themselves. They only go to the altar to seek a partner. Nothing destroysand condemns a marriage so easily more than selfishness, stinginess and self-marriage.
One thing that must be done before marriage is death to self. You must learn how to think “we” and “our” instead of mine,me,mine and myself.
Marriage involves service and sacrifice; selfish people cannot give this. If you are not ready to serve don’t ever go into marriage.
- SOLID FOUNDATION
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ1 Corinthians3:11 KJV.
Before two become one solid foundation is needed. The foundation must be based on the following:
– PRAYER: Seek the face of God aggressively and continuously if you want to choose rightly (Mathew 7:7).
– DIVINE DIRECTION: Let the Lord lead you;let him guide you(Roman 8:14).
– RIGHT STANDARD: Don’t have a standard based on greed,covetousness,selfishness and ignorance. Don’t say you will never marry anybody whose monthly income is not up to six digits.
– DEEP TWO-WAY LOVE: Make sure you marry somebody you love and that loves you dearly too.
– GODLY CHARACTER: Watch out for the character of the person you plan to marry.If it is notacceptable,you will do yourself a lot of favour notto go into that relationship.
4) AGREEMENT: Talk to the person you intend to marry and make sure you agree on the fundamental areas of marriage, like number of children,Church to attend,where to live,what to do,parenting styles and so on.
5) ADEQUATE PREPARATION: The preparations of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue is from the LordProverbs16:1 KJV. You need to get yourself adequately prepared for marriage before you go into it. You have to prepare in the following ways:
- Social (know how to keep friends) Proverbs 18:24
- Intellectually (wisdom)
Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches Proverbs24:3-4(KJV).
- Domestically: you must know how to cook and manage a home.
- Parenting: you also need to prepare how to bearrear and train your children.
For more on this get a copy of our book.
6) GOOD JOB: You must have a good source of income that will give you enough funds to take care of yourself and family. People can help you to fund and sponsor your wedding,but nobody will help you to pay bills,rents,rates,fares and fees in your marriage,so you must get a good job before you say “I Do”.
Kindly get a copy of our book titled:BEFORE YOU SAY I DO for more on this.
7) HAVE ADEQUATE KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR PROPOSED PARTNER: You may marry your spouse because of his looks(physical qualities);but, note that you are going to live the rest of your life with him. His inner forms therefore matter more. For this reason don’t rush into marriage; check whether you really know this person very well. You need to study him adequately,to know his weak and strong points. Don’t deceiveyourself saying you are in love;love is not enough for marriage. You need to go beyond that,acquiring vital knowledge of the person.