MINDSET FACTORS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE TO FAIL
As earlier noted, a negative mindset has the capacity to endanger any marriage because it determines your character in marriage. It determines how you talk, what you do or even fail to do. Man is simply his mind. You can’t rise above your mind. What your mind thinks is what you will do; so your marriage is just a product of your mind. That is why you must deal with mindset factors that make marriage a failure.
- Negative Thinking. No marriage can stand the flood of life once either of the parties involved begins to think negatively about his or her spouse and the marriage. Thoughts that center around an idea that you got married to the wrong person, your spouse is not completely suitable for you or someone else is better than your spouse, all hinder the progress of your marriage.
Solution: Guard your heart with all diligence; don’t allow your heart to think negatively about your spouse or your marriage, hold captive every evil imagination. “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life”. Proverbs 4:23
- Battle Mindedness. Many believe that marriage is a battle field, so they go into marriage with a battle-set mind; ready to fight, ready to destroy. No wonder marriage is difficult for many.
Solution: Marriage is not a boxing ring. It is a place of love, so be ready to love. If there is any misunderstanding, settle it and don’t talk any more about it. “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14
- Solo Mindedness. Despite being married, many believe they are still entitled to running their individual lives like singles; a case of “married but living single.” Marriage is about two people coming together, living together, sharing and caring for each other. You cannot make it work with a “solo mind”.
Solution: Let go of your single’s mentality. Get married in your mind. Release your mind to your spouse; don’t just join your hands with him or her, join your mind also.
- Soul-tie. You cannot build your marriage if you have a soul-tie with your parents, siblings ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Before you can truly love the person you have gotten married to, you must separate yourself from these people emotionally. Except you get an emotion, physical and mental “divorce” from this set of people, you cannot get the best from your marriage.
Solution: Obey Genesis 2:24-25 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed”. Leave your parents, friends, siblings, etc mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, etc and cleave to your own spouse.