Handling Anger In Marriage.Part 1

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Handling Anger In Marriage.Part 1

Bisi Adewale

Handling Anger In Marriage.Part 1

Anger is a bitter emotional feeling that comes upon one, when situations do not fit into our desire and expectations.Handling Anger In Marriage.Part 1

It is also a strong feeling of wanting to harm, beat or criticise someone because they have done something unfair, unacceptable, cruel, offensive or fail to meet our expectations.

Anger is one of the strongest weapons of the devil against the family. In fact, no marriage can break without the effort of Mr. Anger. A gentle, loving, caring and humble husband can become wild, bully, difficult and dangerous in the heat of anger. A beautiful, fragile, loving and “sheepish” lady can become stubborn, wicked aand wild when angry.

One of the reasons why anger is difficult to handle is because people don’t see it as a wrong thing but even boast about it, saying, “don’t toy with my anger o. When I am angry, I can destroy anybody”. No wonder the Bible warns “cease from anger and forsake wrath, fret not thyself in any wise to do evil” (Ps. 37:8).

Before any marriage can break, at least one person must have been angry. Many wars have been fought because of anger. Also, murder and arson have been committed because of it. If you must fight for your marriage, you must fight against anger.

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Deacon Jude walked to his pastor’s office in tears. “Pastor, it is all over. This woman must go. I can’t take it any longer. I have been suffering in silence. Enough is enough. I am tired”.  The pastor was silent and he never noticed any problem in Deacon and Deaconess Jude’s marriage. They looked happy and fulfilled. Deaconess Jude was the head of Sunday department while both of them are in the marriage committee. “Pastor, won’t you say something?” Deacon Jude yelled to rouse pastor out of his thoughts. “Deacon”, Pastor said calmly, “tell me what is going on. What is happening? You never told me there is any problem”. “Yes, pastor I never told you anything”.  I never told you because I thought she would change. My wife is a loving and caring woman except when she is bad mood. She behaves like a rattle snake when she is angry she can never be pacified except she breaks something. She had broken all the blades on the windows, broken all the breakable plates, television screen, dressing mirrors and electronics.This morning, we had a misunderstanding and she became very angry. She then went to the garage and broke the windscreen of the car. Pastor, that was the last straw that broke the camel’s back, because there is no other breakable item at home again. If this woman gets angry again, my head is the only thing available to break. Before she does that, I want to release her. Let her go, I am tired”.

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Can you imagine that? Can you see what anger can do? It has destroyed many marriages. Don’t allow it to destroy your own.

There are some facts you need to know about anger:Handling Anger In Marriage.Part 1

– Anger is a choice.  Stop saying somebody makes you get angry. Say I am discipline enough to control  anger

– Anger is a killer and destroyer

-It can destroy your health, wealth, life and marriage

– Anger is the number one enemy of marriage.

-It does not glorify God

– It rests in the heart of a fool

– It must be “put off” (Col. 3:18).

– You are in danger when you are angry.

– It is one of the works of the flesh

– No marriage can break without it

– You can control it

– You need the spirit of meekness to conquer it.

 

WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY

There are two things you can do when you are angry

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(1)        Foolish things. Shouting, slamming of doors, destruction of household properties, beating,             assaulting, cursing, open brawl, bitterness, vengeance, resentment, leaking of secrets, separation of rooms, malice, avoidance, silence treatment, sexual denial, murder, depression, rejection of food, argument, refusal to cook, refusal to provide house keeping allowance, divorce, stoppage of house duties, reporting                  to third party, scape-goating, breaking of communication, etc.

(2)        Wise things. Positive thinking about one’s spouse thought of reconciliation and patience. Make up your mind not to hurt or say anything that will hurt your partner. Continuation of one’s duties, open and     positive communication, reconciliation, giving and asking for forgiveness, prayer for the offender, speaking in love and spirit of meekness, readiness to lose argument, seeking peace by all means, seeking counsel,                     etc. Handling Anger In Marriage.Part 1

Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog:  www.bisiadewale.com, Website:www.familybooster.comfacebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter@bisiadewale