5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants

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5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants

5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants

5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants
5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants

No other time in history has marriage been under intense attack than our present time. Or, what do you think about the alarming rate of divorce even among the ministers of God who are supposed to be good examples to the people they lead? Besides, many marriages are in crisis and children, becoming delinquent. Beyond that is the rate at which men now abandon their family. It is all times high. And child abuse is now a common thing all over the world. All of these have made marriage the subject of cruel jokes; more so in many civilized societies. There are even quotable quotes that reveal the full extent of wrong thinking and warped mental attitude about marriage and family life. Quotes like “marriage is like wine; it is not properly judged until the second glass” or ” marriage is the only war in which we sleep with the enemy.” And many more like them point to the contemporary challenges facing marriage in our days.

I will be discussing many things that are contemporary enemies of marriage and suggest solutions, so that you may learn how to handle them in your own marriage.

1. “Meism”. One of the most difficult enemies of modern marriage is self-centredness, which I prefer to call “meism”. This, know also that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy (2 Timothy 3:1, 2 KJV). There has not been another time this scripture is truer than now. Many people love themselves more than they love God or their spouses. It is always I or me. They self-glorify and -justify themselves always, leaning heavily towards selfishness, which operates at the centre of difficult marriages. They ignore the “we” quality in marriage that affirms togetherness, unity and a common focus giving room to the self-centred, individualistic drive that promotes self. So, today in marriage satisfaction and service are not focused on the other person, on how to please him and make him happy; it is largely about ‘’me’’ and what ‘’I’’ can get from the union. Everybody strives to get marry to the person that can serve them better, not someone they can serve better. The result is, two service hunters coming together in matrimony. And the union is often enveloped in ACRIMONIOUS COMMUNICATION and AGONIZING EXPERIENCES that ridicule MATRIMONY.

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Solution: Know that marriage is not just about you; it is more about serving your spouse. So go ahead; serve your partner. You are a giver, a lover; pour water on each other’s hands. IF YOU ARE TOO BIG TO SERVE, YOU ARE TOO SMALL TO BE IN MARRIAGE.

2. Wrong Models.  Again, television, films and magazines have introduced wrong models to marriage. Many couples pick those they see on television as their life, family and marriage role-models. Whether the person is doing well in his family life is not a point to consider. Most of the so called celebrities are not having it good in their marriages. Many of them are single parents, co-habiting couples or separated from their spouses and neck-deepened in crises and scandals. They have children outside wedlock. If you make people like this your marriage role model, you are likely going to end up like them.

Solution: Choose your role models wisely; make godly couples in good marriages your mentor.
5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants

3. Modern Day Jobs. Many jobs nowadays are not family friendly at all. Gone are the days when parents come home before their children arrive from school. Today, many parents leave home before their children wake up and may not be back until they have already gone to bed. Many modern jobs make marriage difficult. Jobs that demand constant transfer or night shifts are not good friends of marriage. Neither are those that call for permanent night shifts and weekends, including public holidays. Beyond that, jobs that take couples away from God and make partners to live in different cities or countries, separated from each other for more than 75 days a year kill marriage. Jobs that compel you to live home at dawn to return at midnight and cannot even pay your bills are not helpful to marriage. All these are examples of many modern jobs that make marriage difficult.

Solution: Work out a work-life balance. Remember always that the work will end one day and only the family will remain. One day you will resign or retire. Somebody will one day take over your office and your desk, no matter how good you are on the job. Your family is very important. Your colleagues may not remember you after your death; it is your family that marks Remembrance Day and visits the grave, to clear the burial place of their beloved. The secretary will not remember her dead boss either. So why will you neglect your family and invest your energy in a job that will not last forever? Your home is your tomorrow. Make good use of your weekend, spent with your family. Spend your leave with your family. You can even ask for a casual leave occasionally, just to be with your family. You are entitled to five days casual leave. Ask for it to be with your family. If you neglect your family when they are young they will neglect you when you are old. Husband and wife should plan to get out of water-tight jobs; at least one of you should. Put your family ahead of career and maximize your future together.

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5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants

4. Social Media: Good as they are, yet they give marriage certain headaches. Many old lovers who are now married to different persons have met there, to start where they stopped.  It is also easy now to meet new lovers through the social media. This has increased the level of infidelity, adding more trouble to modern marriage.

Solution: Make positive use of the social media. Don’t use it to connect with ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, or to get a new date. It is dangerous for your marriage.

5. Pornography: Addiction to pornography is fast eating deep into chastity and sexual purity among modern people. There was nothing like that before the advent of the internet. Today, it is a threat to solid family foundation, popularizing fornication among the singles and rooting adultery in the consciousness of many married couples. Many couples are now so addicted to naked bodies on the screen that they hate to see the body of their spouses. The men are stimulated to masturbate and the women, to fantasize about the gorgeous male figure on the screen and porn magazines. It is terrifying!

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Solution: Filter your computers. Don’t permit sexually explicit pictures on it. If you are addicted to pornography already, seek help before it destroys your marriage.
5 Ways To Deal With Marriage Militants