HOW TO BUILD A MARRIAGE OF DISTINCTION
Marriage of distinction is an excellent marriage,a model marriage,a marriage of peace and joy, a marriage that is fulfilling the purpose of God bringing joy to all involved. You need to strive to build a marriage of distinction.
1: SALVATION: Give your life to Christ, surrender your totality to him. That is where the success of marriage begins. Salvation is the foundation of good destiny; you can’t negotiate that.Until Jesus becomes your Lord you are not ready for a great marriage.
Jesus answered, verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit John 3:5, 6 KJV.
2: PREPARATION: Preparation is very important.You prepare for failure when you fail to prepare for success.You may end up in regrets and disappointment if you fail to prepare for marriage. The preparations of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord Proverbs 16:1 (KJV).
3: CONTRIBUTION: What you plant is what you will reap in your marriage. What you donate is what you are going to receive.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, what man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a Veil, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death Genesis 24:64-67 (KJV).
Whatever you give is what you will get. Rebecca donated submission and respect for her husband;she got acceptance,love in return. Isaac donated love,acceptance of his wife; he got comfort and rest of mind at home in return.
If you donate joy in your marriage you will reap peace,if you donate love you will reap comfort,if you donate hatred you will reap strife and if you donate a battle you will reap war. What are you donating?
4: CONCENTRATION: It is right focus. Let your priority be God,family,career in that order. Right concentration leads to work- life balance and this enhances a great marriage. On the other hand,wrong focus leads to a very difficult marriage and lopsided family life.
Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil Proverbs 4:27 (KJV).
5: PROVISION: Give your family care,love,money,shelter and so on.
But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel1 Timothy 5:8 (KJV).
6: AFFECTION: Marry the person you love, love the person you marry.Love verbally,practically,physically,emotionally,financially. Use every opportunity to show your love in kindness,cash,good words,support and prayer.
He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love Song of Solomon 2:4 (KJV).
7: CELEBRATION: Celebrate your spouse above any human being;let everybody around you know you do. Don’t just love your spouse;celebrate him in your heart,with your mouth,in your actions and reactions. Don’t ever speak evil of your spouse when he is not there. It is childish to do that. Don’t just love your spouse in your heart celebrate the one you decided to marry. Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in theeSong of Solomon 4:7 (KJV).
8: APPRECIATION: As the fining pot for silver, and the furnace for gold; so is a man to his praise Proverbs 27:21 KJV). Husband and wife should learn to appreciate each other as a habit. WOMEN SHOULD PRAISE THEIR HUSBANDS FOR: Loving them,paying school fees,for paying house rents,for not marrying another wife and so on. MEN SHOULD PRAISE THEIR WIVES FOR: Breast feeding their babies,for their cooking,beauty,support,for submitting to them,for marrying them and so on.
9: ATTENTION: Give attention to your spouse. Don’t allow your job,children,success,promotion,ministry and so on take you away from the one you married. Marriage does not work if couples are never together(Song of Solomon 1:4).
10: COMMUNICATION: When there is no communication, frustration is imminent. Communication is the power of relationships;marriage can’t work if couples can’t talk. Communication removes confusion and suspicion and eliminates misunderstanding. Couples should give time to communicate in their marriage. Until you talk together you cannot walk together. Communication must be positive,total,truthful,open and respectful. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers Ephesians 4:29 (KJV).
11: IMAGINATION: Your thinking is your life. Your thinking is your marriage;you can’t live right if your thinking is wrong. To build a marriage of distinction you must learn to think rightly about yourself, marriage,family and future together with your spouse. Agree in your mind that your spouse is the best;your wife is the most beautiful or your husband is the best and you are married to somebody great. Your thinking will affect your attitude towards your spouse and this also affects your marriage. Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life Proverbs 4:23 (KJV).
12: MOTIVATION: In a marriage of distinction, husband and wife motivate each other excellently. They sharpen the countenance of each other. Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend Proverbs 27:17 (KJV). When one of them is down the other party is there to lift him up. This is what God has created marriage to be.
13: CONFESSION: What you say to your spouse,about your marriage,family and yourself is very important to the success of your home. Say positive things about your marriage and your spouse. Never talk evil of your spouse in his absence no matter what happens. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation Romans 10:10 (KJV).
14: RECOGNITION: Recognize the ability and qualities of your spouse and celebrate it. See your spouse as the best person in the world. See your husband as the best among men (SOS 2:2)and your wife as the best among women that God has ever created (SOS 2:3).
15: SUBMISSION: Learn the act of submission if marriage of distinction is your dream. Both husband and wife should submit to God (Ephesian 5:21). And wife should learn to submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:22).
16: PROMOTION: Promote the well-being of your spouse at all times. Care for him; be kind to each other no matter what happens,where you are or what you do (Genesis 2:18).
17: RECREATION: All works and no play make marriage a dull one. Take time to play and relax with your spouse. Don’t be on the fast lane of life;create time to play. Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages Song of Solomon 7:11 (KJV).
18: CORRECTION: Take to correction of God and good men about your marriage and family. Be open to the correction of your spouse. Humble yourself. You can’t run a marriage in the right way if you don’t listen to godly counsel. Always remember that in the multitude of counsel there is safety. Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish Proverbs 12:1 (KJV).
19: PASSION: In any marriage,the bedroom is the strong room. If the home will be okay the bedroom must be green and solid. When a couple fights often about sex, it weakens the strength of their marriage and can even open the door for the devil to come into the home.Get the best sex in your marriage;don’t look elsewhere for it. Improve on it and enjoy the best of this God-given gift to the married couple without fighting or rancor. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of campfire in the vineyards of En–gedi. Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes. Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fire Song of Solomon 1:14-17 (KJV).