5 Ways Your Job is Killing Your Marriage
By Bisi Adewale
5 Ways Your Job is Killing Your Marriage
Job is very needful in marriage because finance and marriage are interwoven but there are times when the job is the actual killer of marriage.5 Ways Your Job is Killing Your Marriage
1. You’re always on the job. Before the cell phone and Internet, you left the office and you couldn’t work from home even if you wanted to. Now you’re accessible to your boss and clients anywhere there’s network coverage at any time of day or night. You weren’t meant to be constantly on call 24/7, even if you’re an emergency worker. You need regular down time to nourish your relationship with the most important person on the planet, your spouse. Make sure you turn off your phone on date night and vacations. Don’t stare at your phone when your spouse is talking with you. Look into his or her eyes. And please, don’t be part of the 34 percent who admit to answering their phone during intimacy with their partner!
2. You are in competition with your spouse. You may never say the words, “I’m more successful than you” but are keeping score in your mind? Ideally both of you should support one another in your careers. You should not use your professional status to prove you’re the bigger catch in the relationship or that you have dominance. Keep in mind that men and women are wired differently. In a study by the American Psychology Association, an experiment showed that when a man did poorly on a task but his romantic partner succeeded, his self-esteem went down. However, a woman’s self-esteem remained the same, even if she was outperformed by her romantic partner. Women, learn from this experiment. Give your husband respect regarding his profession because generally speaking, it means more to him than it does to you.
3. You avoid conflict by working. “Sorry, I had to work late at the office again,” you mumble. Truth is working longer hours is much easier than dealing with the tension at home. When we don’t feel successful as a husband or wife, we tend to bury ourselves in work. We can hide behind our busy schedules. If you avoid conflict with your spouse, it won’t magically go away. It will go underground. It will grow. It will get worse. Don’t become a workaholic and ignore conflict with your spouse. Avoidance will cost you dearly. Choose to engage with your spouse and make time for at least 15 minutes of talking every day.
4. You complain about work constantly. Are you incessantly harping about your dead end job, impossible boss, or annoying coworkers? It’s a marriage killer if you bring the toxic environment of your job into the walls of your home every day. Your home is designed to be a haven where you can rest up for the next day. But if you bring your workplace troubles and grumbles home with you, magnifying them with your constant complaining, where is a spouse supposed to escape? Of course it’s all right to share your workplace woes with your spouse occasionally, but not all the time. Instead, turn your grumbling into thanks. Be grateful that you have employment when others are searching for work. As it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
5. You’re too tired to make love. Many couples are working long hours to make ends meet. When stress goes up, sexual desire can go down. You fall into bed each night, too tired to have s*x with your spouse. Yet sexual intimacy is a primary way to communicate love and when it’s not happening in the bedroom, it puts an incredible strain on the relationship. Having s*x releases feel-good hormones like endorphins and oxytocin which helps you feel bonded with your mate and more energized at work. Maybe you can dine out less and save money, so that you don’t have to take on those extra hours on the job. Look for ways to guard the sacred marriage bed. You’ll be glad you did.
Can you relate to any of these marriage killers? Do you have any to add to the list? 5 Ways Your Job is Killing Your Marriage