-Bisi Adewale


I am sure you desire to know what to do to become a positive partner, make your marriage better and turn your home into a place to be.12 WAYS TO BECOME A POSITIVE PARTNER

  • Positive relationship with God- Your relationship with God must be positive. You must allow the Holy Spirit to work on you, break you and mould you. You can’t remain your canal self and be a positive partner. You must allow the great ‘POTTER’ to work on you and make you a better husband or wife, full of meekness, love, joy, truthfulness, faithfulness, faith, temperance and selflessness. Galatians 5:22-26.
  • Positive mental attitude to life, marriage and your spouse: Our mentality affects our personality. Our conceptualization will ultimately determine our action and reaction to life and to our partner. Until you get your mental attitude right, you can’t make the most of your marital relationship.                 

Destroy all those wrong conceptions about men, women, love, sex and marriage.

‘Men are not to be trusted’, ‘women are a necessary evil’, ‘marriage is not a bed of roses’, ‘a wife you don’t beat will become your boss’, ‘marriage is slavery’, ‘sex must not take place on Sunday’, ‘sex must not take place in the afternoon’, ‘never allow your spouse to know your pay packet’, and so on. All these are wrong and can destroy your home, no matter how good your spouse is.

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You must also change your mind about your spouse. You must avoid the following thoughts: ‘I married wrongly’, ‘How I wish I married somebody else’, ‘Mr. or Mrs. so, so and so is better than my husband or wife’, ‘I can divorce if not satisfied in marriage’, ‘my wife is a witch’, ‘I will take vengeance’, ‘what is the best way to punish this woman?’.12 WAYS TO BECOME A POSITIVE PARTNER

Sanitise your mind, if you want a better home (Proverbs  4:23)

  • Positive communication– ‘You are stupid’, ‘you are an error in my life’, ‘I regret marrying you’, ‘curse be the day I met you’ and so on are negative words that will help send a marriage to its early grave. Speak with grace seasoned with salt, speak to edify, speak to motivate and build, speak to make your spouse happy. Say the right thing, say something you want your spouse to say to you. (Ephesians. 4:29, Colossians 4:6)
  • Positive association– You are likely going to behave like the people you associate with; your friends can be a fence or a bridge to a better marriage. Move with only people that will enhance your marriage, people that will improve your love to your spouse, men and women that will encourage you to love your mate and be affectionate towards each other. 12 WAYS TO BECOME A POSITIVE PARTNER
  • Positive partnership– Become a positive partner, be pleasant to live with, learn to forgive and also apologise when necessary. Be jovial, learn to laugh and smile, praise, commend, appreciate, build trust, defend, protect and pray with your spouse. Your spouse needs your affection; release your affection towards him or her. Be cheerful, be courteous, honour and respect your mate. Treat him or her like a king or queen, be a friend and a lover.
  • Positive actions-Be positive in your actions; good actions will provoke good reactions. Be appreciative, walk hand-in-hand, give gifts, say good things, celebrate your spouse’s birthday lavishly, hug generously, be romantic, dress nicely, massage each other’s body, send romantic text messages to your spouse in the office, call him or her just to say “hello”.
  • Positive reactions– Never act on impulse, avoid reacting angrily to a provocative situation, let the spirit of God guide your actions and reactions.
  • Positive ways of handling money- Let money be a tool of stabilization and not an agent of destruction in your marriage. Handle it wisely, don’t be lazy, never be extravagant, increase your financial intelligence.
  • Positive decisions- Decide to be a positive husband or wife, a peace maker, a lover and a servant. Decide to forgive, never to keep malice, never to go to bed without settling a dispute, not to hide anything from each other, no separation, no divorce, no reporting to a third party, no shouting at each other, no illicit affairs, no sexual denial. Decide to be friends and great lovers.
  • Positive living- Decide to live positively together; no infidelity, no lying, no night crawling or drunkenness; no spousal neglect or wife battering, no partying or pool betting. (Proverb 31:1-7)
  • Positive ways of handling dispute- Never allow disputes to destroy your marriage, settle them amicably. Avoid retaliation, go for reconciliation; build bridges, destroy fences, discuss issues and do not hurt each other
  • Positive bedroom life- Never turn your bedroom to a battlefield. Celebrate sex in your marriage, never allow the issue of sex to separate you, see it as a gift from God for the betterment of your marriage.(1 Corinthians7:1-5)     
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 For more on sex in marriage get a copy of our book: SEXUAL FULFILLMENT IN MARRIAGE.

Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author :Secrets of an Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog:  www.bisiadewale.com,Website:www.familybooster.comfacebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter@bisiadewale